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Identify Indians

 

1. Everything you eat is savoured in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

3. You are always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party  and think it’s normal.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Shameem, Naeem, Ajmal ,  Akmal  etc.)

8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

9. You take snacks anywhere it says ‘No Food Allowed’

10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving some one’s house.

11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.

12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it’s the remote control, VCR, or new couch.

13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won’t let you do certain things because of what the other ‘Uncles and Aunties’ will think.

14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used. As it is meant for a special occasion that never happens.

15. You use vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.

16. You use grocery bags to hold the garbage.

17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff)

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker or both.

21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).

23. You don’t use measuring cups when cooking.

24. You never learned how to stand in a queue.

25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are travelling by bus, train or plane.

26. You only make long distance calls after 11pm

27. Your conversation is laced with constant references to God even while talking about t he most mundane and insignificant matters.

28. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Auntie.

29. When your parents meet a stranger and talk for a few minutes, you discover another distant cousin .

30. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.

31. Its embarrassing if you’re invited to a wedding with less than 600 people.

32. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

33. You don’t engage in dialogue. You don’t pay the slightest attention to what the other person is saying. You impatiently wait for them to stop speaking so you can blurt out your piece.

34. You have strong opinions on everything under the sun. But when it comes to decision making, you allow issues to reach a crisis point and panic set in before you decide to act.

 

(contributed by: Mohan Rao on 08.10.2011)

 

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