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Vive La France!

‘ France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes.’
Mark Twain
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‘I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.’
General George S. Patton
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‘Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.’
Norman Schwartzkopf
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‘We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.’
Marge Simpson
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‘As far as I’m concerned, war always means failure.’
Jacques Chirac, President of France
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‘The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee.’
Regis Philbin
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‘You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn’t have the face for it.’
John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona
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‘The last time the French asked for ‘more proof’ it came marching into Paris under a German flag.’
David Letterman
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‘Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in  Canada .’
Ted Nugent
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‘War without France would be like…Well…World War II.’
Unknown
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‘The favourite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says ‘First Iraq, then France.’
Tom Brokaw
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‘What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?’
Dennis Miller
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‘It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.’
Alan Kent
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‘They’ve taken their own precautions against al-Qaida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.’
Argus  Hamilton
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‘Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day –the description was, ‘Never shot. Dropped once.”
Rep. Roy Blunt, MO
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‘The French will only agree to go to war when we’ve proven we’ve found truffles in  Iraq .’
Dennis Miller
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Q. What did the mayor of  Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m’sieur?
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‘Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It’s not known, it’s never been tried.’
Rep. R. Blount, MO
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‘Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that’s because it was raining.’
John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv
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“French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney” (AP, Paris , March 5, 2003)
The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris , caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.
(contributed by : Amr on 02.08.2012)

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