Lovemaking Tips

  • Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
  • Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
  • Set the mood with lighting.. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
  • Make sure you put 15 or 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
  • Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember…
  • Use extra polygrip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.
  • Have Panadol ready in case you actually complete the act..
  • Make all the noise you want….the neighbors are deaf, too.
  • If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
  • Don’t even think about trying it twice

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