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Jokes for the Midweek

 

 

Married Lawyer goes home after having fun in his car with his secretary*

On getting home his wife observed panties on the back seat*

She tore it apart screaming  “honey what is this?”
He calmly replied  :  U just destroyed the evidence of the rape case worth a million i’m handling. U can not  forget the jewellery you wanted!”

She quickly fell on her knees apologising.

No 1 wins over a Lawyer!
Even something called A WIFE!!

 
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All men are like blue tooth,  Always connected when Wife is around.
But the moment she is away,  they automatically start searching 4 new devices.
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MAN – Can I have SEX with my PREGNANT wife?
Dr     – 1st 3 months Normal, Next 3 months like a DOG & last 3 months like a FOX.
MAN – How does FOX Do?
Dr     – Sleep  near the HOLE & cry.
****************************

An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water.  It got so bad that his camel died of thirst.
He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand, and discovered that he had a Manischewitz wine bottle.
It appeared that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrewed the top, and out popped a genie.

 

BUT this was no ordinary genie.
This genie appeared to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, and tzitzis.
‘Vell kid,’ said the genie, ‘you know how it voiks. You got three vishes.

”I’m not going to trust you,’ says the Arab.

‘I’m not going to trust a Jewish genie!

” Vott’ya you got to lose? Looks to me – you’re a goner anyway!

‘The Arab thought about this for a minute, and decided that the genie was right.

‘Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis, with plentiful food and drink.

‘ * * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * * The Arab found himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen and he was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

‘Okee-dokee kiddo, What’s your second wish?

”My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams.

‘ * * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * * The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare old coins and precious gems.

‘Okay kid, you got just one more wish.  Better you should make it a good one!

‘After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says, ‘I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will always need and want me!’

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * * He was turned into a tampon!

 

THE MORAL OF THE STORY .  :  If you’re an Arab doing business with a Jewish genie, there’s going to be a string attached ***************************

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A sindhi shopkeeper was dismayed when one day, a new business, very much like his own, opened up next door, and erected a huge sign which read,

‘BEST DEALS.’

He was horrified when a week later, another competitor, opened up on his right, and announced his arrival with an even larger sign reading

‘LOWEST PRICES.’

The sindhi shopkeeper panicked, until he got a brilliant idea.

He put the biggest sign all over his own shop..It said,

‘MAIN ENTRANCE.’

 

Moral: Don’t Mess With Sindhi Businessmen.!

***************************

 

INDIRA GANDHI K 2 BETE THE,
1 KO DESH CHALANE KA SHOUK THA,
USNE PLANE CHALAYA – GIRA DIYA.
2RE KO PLANE CHALANE KA SHOUK THA,
USNE DESH CHALAYA – GIRA DIYA.

 

 

INDIRA GANDHI KI 2 BAHU HAIN.
1 KO JANWAR PALNE KA SHOUK THA,  WOH  MINISTER BAN GAYEE.
2RI KO MINISTER BANNEY KA SHOUK THA, USNE JANWAR PALL LIYE –
–   DIGVIJAY, KAPIL SIBBAL, MANISH TIWARI, CHIDAMBARAM.

 

 

(contributed by: Mohan Rao on 15.02.2012)

 

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