Abhi Lasha shares a great relationship with her mother-in-law. Everyday after returning from office she shares what happened in the office with her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law too tells her what she did throughout the day. Her mother-in-law misses her badly when Abhilasha goes to visit her mother’s place. Abhilasha believes that her mom-in-law is her best friend. (Hard to digest, isn’t it?)
You are already raising your eyebrow with surprise, are you not? We tend to follow the image of the monster mother-in-law as it is depicted in the saas-bahu serials and movies. But are we aware of some truths about the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship that are way too different from what we believe and experience.
Mother-in-law can be a good friend
If the words of Aristotle are to be believed that friend is a single soul dwelling in two bodies then befriending your mother-in-law can be the key to share a great relationship with her. Sharing ups and downs of your life with your mother-in-law would be a great start to boost the bonding.
To be a good daughter-in-law you should seek your mother-in-law’s advice when you face hurdles, you should listen to her distresses, you should be able to be part of her happiness and sorrows and finally you should believe that a mother-in-law can be the best pal of her daughter-in-law.
Give respect, receive respect
Respect given is respect earned. Respect should be the base of any relationship no matter if it is a relation of a husband and wife, a mother and child or a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. To be a fantastic daughter-in-law giving respect is the important factor to enhance the relationship.
In Indian culture touching feet of the elders is considered highly respective. Apart from this, respect is all about trusting your mother-in-law, valuing her decisions and not doubting her instincts. Clashes are ought to happen in every relationship but overcoming them can be quite an achievement. Look at every doubt, issue or disagreement as a challenge and how you can work around that.
Do not be prejudiced. If you are going to visit your mother-in-law for the first time, remember that first impression is the last impression. The simple formula to nurture any relationship is putting forward your real self. ‘Be yourself’ and everything will be fine.
It is true that one should respect in-laws but one should also set some limits to their interference in your life. You should not tolerate domestic violence, harassment or physical or emotional abuse from any of your in-laws. If you are being the victim of such abuse then as a responsible citizen it is your duty to report it to the concerned person or women’s cell.
The Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is always perceived negatively. But if in-law relationships stumble, it is not necessary that it will be always a mother-in-law’s fault. Have you ever told you mother-in-law that you really adore her? Have you ever complimented her for making tasty food?
Let your mother-in-law know that her presence in your life makes the ride worthwhile. Have you ever though about buying a gift for her on mother’s day? Let your mother-in-law know that you care and feel concerned about her.
Secrets to be a good daughter-in-law
Understating daughter-in-law dos and don’ts may help you to handle in-law relationships. Where there are relationships there will be frictions. Sometimes you may not agree with another person’s point of view, in such a situation you should learn to be calm.
- Be optimistic. Do not form any preconceptions regarding your relationship with your mother-in-law.
- Be respectful towards your mother-in-law.
- Seek her advice when it is appropriate.
- Agreeing to her whims every time may not be correct or even tough for you. Nevertheless you should respect her opinion and say what you feel.
- Go out for a lunch, just the two of you or invite her for a lunch and prepare what she likes.
- Get to know the positive aspects in her
- Make her birthdays and anniversary special for her
- Buy your mother-in-law gifts on special occasions
When you marry you are going to be someone’s wife, someone’s daughter-in-law and someone’s sister-in-law. If you are not married you have the responsibility to make your fiance’s mother believe in you. What say? At one moment you will be terrified of your mother-in-law and at next moment you might be giggling hearing the mischievous stories of your spouse’s childhood from her. Give it a try, it is worth it!