Funny One Liners.


 Funny One Liners

I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in.   She said: Cheque books.
The easiest way to make your old car run better is to check the price of a new car.
What is the difference between men and pigs?

A: Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.

What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A :  A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Nurse:   A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

New employee: Yes, sir.

Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?


Q: Why don’t dogs marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!

 A country where the people are thin Police is fat.
India is an incredible country where actors are playing cricket, cricketers are playing politics, politicians are watching porn and porn stars are becoming actors.
Kos kos pe badle paani, char kos pe (badle) bani. (The taste/quality of water changes at every mile language every 4 miles).
The great success story of India, a country that so many learned scholars and journalists assumed would disintegrate, in the ’50s and ’60s, is that it managed to maintain consensus on how to survive without consensus.
If someone asks for a dirty cloth to clean something, you are in India.


The funny thing is that in a land of more than a billion people, the topic of sex is still taboo.
Where liking a Facebook post gets you arrested, raping doesn’t.
India is a functioning anarchy.
In Bangalore if you throw a stone, you hit a dog, or a software engineer.
Only country where you need to look either side while crossing in a one-way.



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