Enjoy light reading

 

 

  • Irish priest

    An Irish priest was transferred to Texas. Father O’Malley rose from his
    bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission
    parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the
    beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in
    the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

    The conversation went like this: “Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How
    might I help you?”

    “And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann ‘s
    Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye
    be so kind as to send a couple o’yer lads to take care of the matter?”

    Sergeant Jones, considering himself quite a wit and recognizing the foreign
    accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied,
    “Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of
    the last rites!”

    There was dead silence on the line for a long moment…

    Father O’Malley then replied: “Aye, ’tis certainly true; but we are also
    obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”

     

    (contributed by : amr on 23.4.2013)

  • Life is Fun

    In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.
    – Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

    There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
    – Mary Wilson Little

    When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
    – Mark Twain

    Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers.
    And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, 

    you can survive it.
    – Bill Cosby

    Today is your day to laugh at life, laugh at what’s funny – laugh at what’s sad,
    laugh loud – laugh often, 
    laugh at me – laugh at you – laugh at life.
    – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

     

     

    (contributed by: Mohan Rao on 04.10.2011)

  • Judging others

    An elephant asked a camel, “Why are your breasts on your back?”

     

     

     

     

     

    ‘Well,’ said the camel, ‘I think that’s an entirely inappropriate question from somebody whose dick is on his face.’

     

     

    (contributed by:Mohan Rao on 28.06.2011)

  • Aarti Chhathi Maiya Ki.

     

     

    Aarti Chhati Maiya Ki

     

     

  • 10 People Who Survived After Getting Executed.

     

    10 People Who Survived After Getting Executed”


    These people were sentenced to death and were almost on their way to heaven or hell but got lucky and managed to live another day.

    1. Elizabeth Proctor

    Elizabeth Proctor was thought to be a witch in 1692 and was arrested. Even though her friends protested, she was sentenced to death. Elizabeth was pregnant at the time and gave birth to her baby in prison. The rope was placed around her neck and she fell through the trapdoor but did not die!

    2. John Henry George Lee

    John Henry George Lee was arrested because it was felt that he was involved in the murder of a woman named Emma Keyse. He was about to be hanged when the release on the trap door malfunctioned and he fell through it thrice but did not die.

    3. William Duell

    William Duell along with 4 other men was hanged after spending time in jail for raping and murdering a child in London. At the time, dead bodies of criminals were used for medical purposes. When William’s body was laid in the Surgeons’ Hall, a student realized that he was breathing!

    4. Zoleykhah Kadkhoda

    Zoleykhah Kadkhoda was arrested because she was having an affair even though she was married. It was declared that she was to be killed and that people were to throw stones at her till she died. However, the stoning was abruptly stopped and the woman was taken to the morgue where the officials realized that she was breathing.

    5. Wenseslao Moguel

    Wenseslao Moguel was arrested after getting caught during the Mexican revolution. The officials were supposed to open fire at him and continue till he died. He was shot at 9 times but somehow managed to escape and live for a long time after.

    6. John Smith

    John Smith was arrested after robbing several houses and banks. He fell through the trap door but crawled out and managed to live a full life for several years.

    7. Anne Green

    Anne Green got pregnant after she was seduced by her employer. She gave birth to a premature baby who unfortunately, died within a few minutes after his birth. She tried to hide the body and was accused of murder. She was sentenced to death and was pushed off a ladder with a rope around her neck. However, when her coffin was opened up later, she started breathing and was sent to the hospital.

    8. Joseph Samuel

    Joseph Samuel committed several robberies in 1801 and murdered several people. He was part of a gang which was sentenced to death. On the day of the execution, he got onto the cart but the rope snapped. The second time the rope slipped off and the third time the rope snapped open yet again! He was then sentenced to life imprisonment.

    9. Maggie Dickson

    Maggie Dickson became involved with an Innkeeper after her husband died. She gave birth to a baby who died soon after. She tried to throw the body into the river but couldn’t. However, the authorities found the baby and Maggie. She was sentenced to death and after her execution, the coffin with her body was being carried over to the burial ground. This journey game to a halt when knocking was heard from within the coffin. She was taken out and lived for 40 more years!

    10. Willie Francis

    Willie Francis killed a drugstore owner when he was 16 years old. He confessed and was sentenced to death. As he sat on the electric chair and the electricity started coursing through his body, he started screaming but did not die. After several hours, they removed him from the chair and he was executed again a year later.

    (contributed by: Chetan Bhatt  on 23.12.2012)

     

  • How an Engineer Earned 1.25 Million Air Miles By Buying Pudding

    Air Miles are awesome, they can be used to score free flights, hotel stays and if you’re really lucky, the scorn and hatred of everyone you come in contact with who has to pay full price when they travel. The king of all virtually free travelers is one David Phillips, a civil engineer who teaches …Read More

    (Visited 4 times, 1 visits today)

    The post How an Engineer Earned 1.25 Million Air Miles By Buying Pudding appeared first on PourYourHeart.

  • Defence.

     

     Defence

    A MOST UNUSUAL DEFENCE
    A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defence:

    “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.”

    “Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.”

    The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

     

     

    (contributed by: Mohan Rao on 12.12.2011)

     




——————————————————————————————————————-

 

More >>>>……………