Enjoy light reading

 

 

  • US President Obama & the Canadian PM

    President Obama and the Canadian PM are shown a time machine which can see 50 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each.President Obama goes first: “What will the USA be like in 50 years’ time?”

    The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out: “The country is in good hands under the new president, José Fernandez…. crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. Vice President Jin Tao has declared Chinese language mandatory in all US schools. There are no worries.”

    The Canadian PM thinks, “It’s not bad, this time machine, I’ll have a bit of that” so he asks: “What will Canada be like in 50 years’ time?”

    The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout. But he just stares at it.

    “Come on, David,” says Obama, “Tell us what it says.”

    “I can’t read! It is all in Punjabi”

     

    (contributed by:Mohan Rao on 01.08.2011)

  • United States – Arizona

    arizona

    Phoenix Downtown, AZ

    arizona1

    The Spanish mission of San Xavier del Bac, founded in 1700

    arizona2

    PX-El Zaribah Shrine Auditoriun

    arizona3

    Titan II Missile Museum

    arizona4

    Grand Canyon Watchtower

    [Contributed by: TUNA on 04/03/2013]

  • A different Story.

     

     A different Story

    Young King Arthur was ambushed and Imprisoned by The monarch of a neighbouring kingdom.

    The monarch could have killed him But was moved by 
    Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, The monarch offered him his freedom, As long as He could answer A very difficult question. Arthur would have A year to figure out The answer and, If after a year, He still had No answer, 
    He would be Put to Death.

    The question was: 
    *What do Women really want?*

    Such A question would perplex 
    Even The Most Knowledgeable man. 
    And to Young Arthur, It seemed An Impossible query. 
    But, Since It was Better than Death, He accepted the 
    Monarch’s proposition to have An answer by Year’s end.

    He returned to His kingdom and Began to poll Everyone: 
    The princess, The priests, The wise men, and Even The Court Jester. He spoke with Everyone, But no one could give Him a satisfactory answer.

    Many people advised Him to consult The old witch, For only She would have The answer. But the price would be 
    High as The Witch was Famous throughout The kingdom for the Exorbitant prices She charged.

    The last day of The year arrived and Arthur had No choice 
    But to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer The uestion, 
    But first He would have to Agree to her price.

    The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of The Round Table, and Arthur’s closest friend. Young Arthur was Horrified.

    She was Hunch-backed And hideous, had only One Tooth, 
    smelled like Sewage, Made obscene noises, etc.

    He had never encountered such A repugnant creature in 
    All his life. He refused to force His friend to Marry her and 
    Endure such A terrible burden.

    But Lancelot, Having learnt of the proposal, Spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was Too big of a sacrifice ompared to Arthur’s life. And the reservation of the Round Table. 
    Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and 
    The witch answered.

    Arthur’s question thus: “What a woman really wants?”

    She said, “A woman wants to be in charge of her own life.”

    Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth, and that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was. The neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

    The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.

    The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was sitting by the bed.

    The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth become her horrible and deformed self only half the time, 
    And be The Beautiful Maiden The other half.

    “Which would You prefer?” She asked him. 

    “BEUATIFUL During the DAY… OR At NIGHT?”

    Lancelot pondered The predicament.

    During the day, He could have A Beautiful woman 
    To show off to His Friends,But at night, In the privacy of 
    His castle, An old witch!

    OR,

    Would he prefer Having a Hideous witch During the day? 

    But By night A Beautiful Woman for him To enjoy wondrous moments with?

    (If You are A man reading this) 
    What would YOUR choice be?

    (If You are A woman reading this) 
    What would YOUR MAN’S choice be?

    And Lancelot’s Choice is Given below…

    BUT, Please Make YOUR choice First Before You 
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    OKAY?
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    Knowing the answer 
    The witch gave to Arthur for his question, Sir Lancelot said that He would Allow HER To make The choice Herself.

    Upon hearing this, She announced that She would be 
    Beautiful All The Time, Because He had respected Her enough to Let Her be In charge of Her Own Life.

    Now, 
    What is The Moral to This  

    The moral is :

    1. There is ‘Witch’ in Every Woman, No matter 
    How Beautiful She Is.

    2. If You Don’t let A Woman have Her Own way, 
    Things are going to Get Ugly.

    So, Be careful How You Treat A Woman and 
    Always Remember: 
    IT IS EITHER “HER WAY” OR IT IS “NO WAY”!!! 
    ??????

     

  • Sagely Advise

    Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest sages the world has ever known.Enjoy the following:
    1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
    2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
    3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
    4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
    5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
    6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
    7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
    8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
    9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
    10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
    11. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.
    12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

    ABOUT GROWING OLDER… 

    First ~Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

    Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

    Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers.
    Not me; I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way.
    I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.

    Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

    Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

    Sixth ~ I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

    Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.

    Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

    Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

    Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

    And, finally ~ If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.

    (contributed by:Mohan Rao on 12.10.2011)
  • 1960 – Hindi Songs, Movie – Jis Desh Mein Ganga Behti Hai

     

  • Patience

    Rose Border

    [Contributed by: User – Ateeq Ahmed Siddiqui on 03/03 2013]

  • Lake Huron and on to a horse buggy – Mackinaw Island




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