Enjoy light reading

 

 

  • Some Irish Ones

    Joe says to Paddy, “Close your curtains the next time you’re shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday.”

    Paddy says: “Well the joke’s on them because I wasn’t even at home yesterday.”
    _________________________________________________________________

    Mick walks into Paddy’s barn and catches him dancing naked and playing with himself in front of a tractor. Mick says, “Jaysus Paddy, what in hell  you are doing?”

    Paddy says, “Well me and Mary haven’t been getting on in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attract her.
    _________________________________________________________________

    The Irish have solved their fuel problems. They’ve imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and are going to drill for their own oil.
    _________________________________________________________________

    Paddy says to Mick, “Jeez, I’m ready for me holiday  but this year I’m going to do it a bit different.

    Three years ago I went to Spain  and Mary got pregnant.

    Two years ago I went to Italy  and Mary got pregnant.

    Last year I went to Majorca  and again Mary got pregnant.”

    Mick asks, “So what are you going to do this year?”

    Paddy replies, “O think I will take her with  me!”
    _________________________________________________________________
    Paddy says to Mick, “Christmas is on a Friday this year”

    Mick says “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
    _________________________________________________________________

    Paddy and Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.

    Mick says, “What if one explodes before we get there?”

    Paddy: “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”
    _________________________________________________________________

    Paddy’s in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. “Did you find the shampoo?”

    Paddy says, “yes but it’s for dry hair and I’ve just wet mine.”

     

    (contributed by:Mohan Rao on 31.07.2011)

  • Keep Walking….

    Ever wondered why people who walked always felt better?

    Here is the answer…

    Keep walking………..& what is the medical explanation ?

    Keep Walking….. Because…

    The Organs of your body have their sensory touches at the bottom of your foot.

    If you massage these points you will find relief from aches and pains as you can see the heart is on the left foot.

    Typically they are shown as points and arrows to show which organ it connects to.

    It is indeed correct since the nerves connected to these organs terminate here.

    This is covered in great details in Acu-pressure studies.

    God created our body so well that He thought of even this.

    HE made us walk so that we will always be pressing these pressure points and thus keeping these organs activated at all times.

     

     

     

    (contributed by :  Amr on 09.08.2012)

  • Gangatok.

     

    Gangtok – Sikkim

    A letter from Gen. Surjit about his recent visit to Gangtok.

    Dear Friend,

    The first command is like the first love : you can never forget it.

    In my case, it was an EME Battalion located in Sikkim. The current CO, Col. Puneet Kapoor was kind enough to invite us and spent a few days there last month. Whilst nearly everything about Gangtok is exhilarating, what I struck me the most was the efficiency of their police. There was not a single pot bellied cop, and I was told that it is well nigh impossible to bribe them. As a consequence, their public places are pristine clean. The main market is named after the Father of the Nation, and it is as good as anything which I have seen in any country in the world. Here are some of its features:

    • No vehicle is allowed inside the market during the business hours.
    • Smoking and spitting is strictly prohibited.
    • If you throw litter, you do so at enormous risk.
    • If anyone commits an offence, cops appear at once, and a fine is imposed on the spot. If you try to bribe him, he takes you to the police station and a case is registered.
    • The approach road to the market has footpaths which are protected by railings. The pedestrians are completely safe.
    • Foot bridges are provided for the pedestrians to cross over to the other side.
    • Benches are placed for those who need a little rest.

    Sub Dogra, who accompanied us to the market told me, “Yahan horn nahin bajaa sakte. Turant police aa jaayegi, aur jurmaana ho jayega” He also told me that they have “bandhs” very frequently, to register protest for various things. And he said,

    “Sa’ab, poora market band ho jaata hai. Kewal chemists aur liquor shops khuli rahti hain”

    When I tried to find the reason for that, I was told that the Sikkimese believe that “dawaa” and “daroo” are essential commodities, which should not be denied to the citizens, even when the market is closed. Or as my friend Inoo (Air Mshl Satish Inamdar) says,

    “Drinking is not an offence. Getting drunk is!”

    Now, here are a few pictures of the MG Market.

    Clean M G market
    Clean M G market
    Sikkim the land of Pristine and mystic beauty
    Sikkim the land of Pristine and mystic beauty
    M G Marg-market-gangtok
    mg-marg-market-gangtok
    M.G Road, Gangtok
    M.G Road, Gangtok

    You see a foot bridge to cross over. In the distance you see railings to protect pedestrians

    Can you spot a cigarette butt or the sign of ‘paan’ spit? Any plastic bag or litter?

    Rates of essential commodities are displayed on a board. No haggling

    We also have boards like this here. But in Sikkim, they mean what they say!

    The laws in Sikkim are the same. As far as I know, the ‘lokpal’ bill has not been enacted there in any form.

    Why can’t we achieve it in the rest of the country?

     

     

    (contributed by: Mohan Rao on 16.09.2011)

  • An Ancient Zoroastrian City.

     

    A very interesting  video from History Channel

    An Ancient Zoroastrian City

    (contributed by: Mohan Rao on 12.12.2011)

  • Strategies to purchase digital video surveillance system

    You must choose the best safety digital camera systems with innumerable safety characteristics that safeguard you and your belongings in all doable techniques. Even so, for those who fall short to pick the appropriate camera systems, securing your home and existence may get really complicated. Thus, it truly is incredibly crucial that you simply choose only the ideal digital video surveillance system for your possessions.

    Securing your house in NY demands you to pick the most beneficial CCTV camera systems that have sensors along with alarms which assist you to learn about even the slightest mistakes plus intrusions. However, picking a safety camera NY primarily depends on its use and location of installation. Security cameras can be installed both outside and within your home, company location and autos.

    Home surveillance systems are the solution to this problem that allows you to have a more peaceful mind when away from home. Such a system provides effective and affordable avenues of your property protection.

    Therefore, based on your requirements, you might want to very carefully pick the cameras that suit your use.

    Deciding on among analog and digital video surveillance system

    The analog program is definitely an older security construction that makes use of the movie cassette recorder for storing the footage that has been recorded from the camera. Nonetheless, when you use an analog technique, you cannot see the recorded footage over the internet and only obtain a reduced good quality image from the recorded information. Because of this, it absolutely was later on replaced from the digital video surveillance system that provided far better recording capabilities and also offered a selection of other safety characteristics.

    These electronic surveillance methods are primarily based on the binary encoding method that assists increase the reading and producing efficiency from the digicam system.

    You receive better speed, great excellent transmission sign, and so on. Additionally they have movement activated recording attributes that support seizes clear images of the recorded data.

    To the opposite, when you want to improve the safety within your property or company location, applying the dome security camera which might be little and rotate to all angles for capturing the very best and clearest pictures of all the movements occurring about in and around the surveillance location. The dome security cameras possess a sound dome formed construction that helps it remain safe even throughout intrusions. These cameras capture the pictures and store them effortlessly in their storage locations. On the other hand, when you wish to secure the outside premises of one’s dwelling and also other possessions, it can be important that you choose the CCTV camera systems, primarily due to their much better security features that safeguard you as well as your house in all conditions.

    Article source: http://lifestyle.ezinemark.com/strategies-to-purchase-digital-video-surveillance-system-7d32f322df7f.html

  • Story about Racism

    1) I’m sure many of you watched the recent taping of the Oprah Winfrey Show where her guest was Tommy Hilfiger. On the show, she asked him if the statements about race he was accused of saying were true.
    Statements like’…‘If I’d known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish and Asians would buy my clothes, I WOULD NOT have made them so nice. I wish these people would *NOT* buy my clothes, as they are made for upper class white people

    His answer to Oprah was a simple ‘YES’. Where after she immediately asked him to leave her show.

    ————————————-

    Scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg and London .

    A White woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess.
    ‘Madam, what is the matter,’ the hostess asked. ‘ You obviously do not see it then?’ she responded. ‘
    You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group.
    Give me an alternative seat.’ ‘Be calm please,’ the hostess replied.
    ‘Almost all the places on this Flight is taken. I will go to see if another place is available.’

    The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. ‘Madam, Just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is a seat in the business class.
    All the same, we still have one place in the first class.’ Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued: ‘It is not Usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting.’ She turned to the black guy, and said, ‘Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class.’

    At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.


    (contributed by : Govind Kamath on 06.04.2011)

  • Animals in News.

     

     Animals in News

    https://i1.wp.com/i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02443/gorilla-on-a-rope_2443290k.jpg?resize=600%2C402

    A Gorilla named Kidogo balances on a rope in Krefeld Germany Zoo

    https://i0.wp.com/i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02440/hyena-laughing_2440618k.jpg?resize=599%2C599

    Photographer Bridgena Barnard captured grinning Henna in South Africa Transfrontier Park

    https://i0.wp.com/i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02442/lion-cub_2442760k.jpg?resize=598%2C598

    A cheeky lion cub grab his mother’s tail in Masai Mara, Kenya

    https://i2.wp.com/i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02441/fat-prairie-dog_2441611k.jpg?resize=601%2C654

    The porky praire dog in Arizona in desperate need of a diet.

    https://i1.wp.com/i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02443/stocktake-penguins_2443286k.jpg?resize=599%2C374

    Penguins line up for counting at London Zoo annual stocktake

    https://i2.wp.com/i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02223/chhetah-cubs_2223039k.jpg?resize=603%2C376

    A Cheetah cub giving high speed piggy back to another cub on the savanna in Ngorongoro Conservation Area in Tanzania

    https://i2.wp.com/i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02190/walking-with-lions_2190365k.jpg?resize=603%2C376

    British Tourists walk with white lions at the Protea Hotel Ranch Resort, South Africa

    (source : Deepak Punjabi [amdavadis4ever] on 11.01.2013 )

     




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