Enjoy light reading

 

 

  • Confidence.

     

     Confidence

    A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick.

    “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!”

    He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

    Finally, the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”

    With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

    “But how?” the lawyer asked. “You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door.”

    “Oh, yes,” the jury foreman replied. “We all looked – but your client didn’t!”

    (contributed by on A Mohan Rao on 09.03.2011)

     

  • 10 People Who Survived After Getting Executed.

     

    10 People Who Survived After Getting Executed”


    These people were sentenced to death and were almost on their way to heaven or hell but got lucky and managed to live another day.

    1. Elizabeth Proctor

    Elizabeth Proctor was thought to be a witch in 1692 and was arrested. Even though her friends protested, she was sentenced to death. Elizabeth was pregnant at the time and gave birth to her baby in prison. The rope was placed around her neck and she fell through the trapdoor but did not die!

    2. John Henry George Lee

    John Henry George Lee was arrested because it was felt that he was involved in the murder of a woman named Emma Keyse. He was about to be hanged when the release on the trap door malfunctioned and he fell through it thrice but did not die.

    3. William Duell

    William Duell along with 4 other men was hanged after spending time in jail for raping and murdering a child in London. At the time, dead bodies of criminals were used for medical purposes. When William’s body was laid in the Surgeons’ Hall, a student realized that he was breathing!

    4. Zoleykhah Kadkhoda

    Zoleykhah Kadkhoda was arrested because she was having an affair even though she was married. It was declared that she was to be killed and that people were to throw stones at her till she died. However, the stoning was abruptly stopped and the woman was taken to the morgue where the officials realized that she was breathing.

    5. Wenseslao Moguel

    Wenseslao Moguel was arrested after getting caught during the Mexican revolution. The officials were supposed to open fire at him and continue till he died. He was shot at 9 times but somehow managed to escape and live for a long time after.

    6. John Smith

    John Smith was arrested after robbing several houses and banks. He fell through the trap door but crawled out and managed to live a full life for several years.

    7. Anne Green

    Anne Green got pregnant after she was seduced by her employer. She gave birth to a premature baby who unfortunately, died within a few minutes after his birth. She tried to hide the body and was accused of murder. She was sentenced to death and was pushed off a ladder with a rope around her neck. However, when her coffin was opened up later, she started breathing and was sent to the hospital.

    8. Joseph Samuel

    Joseph Samuel committed several robberies in 1801 and murdered several people. He was part of a gang which was sentenced to death. On the day of the execution, he got onto the cart but the rope snapped. The second time the rope slipped off and the third time the rope snapped open yet again! He was then sentenced to life imprisonment.

    9. Maggie Dickson

    Maggie Dickson became involved with an Innkeeper after her husband died. She gave birth to a baby who died soon after. She tried to throw the body into the river but couldn’t. However, the authorities found the baby and Maggie. She was sentenced to death and after her execution, the coffin with her body was being carried over to the burial ground. This journey game to a halt when knocking was heard from within the coffin. She was taken out and lived for 40 more years!

    10. Willie Francis

    Willie Francis killed a drugstore owner when he was 16 years old. He confessed and was sentenced to death. As he sat on the electric chair and the electricity started coursing through his body, he started screaming but did not die. After several hours, they removed him from the chair and he was executed again a year later.

    (contributed by: Chetan Bhatt  on 23.12.2012)

     

  • Before & after Marriage.

     

    Before & after Marriage

     

    Before Marriage…


    Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

    Girl: Do you want me to leave?

    Boy: No! Don’t even think about it.

    Girl: Do you love me?

    Boy: Of course! Over and over!

    Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?

    Boy: No! Why are you even asking?

    Girl: Will you kiss me?

    Boy: Every chance I get!

    Girl: Will you hit me?

    Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!

    Girl: Can I trust you?

    Boy: Yes.

    Girl: Darling!

    After marriage…

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    Now just read it from bottom to top

  • Scams in India

    Want to “set” a question paper based on “The Scams in India” any school willing?

    COIMBATORE:  A private matriculation school in Coimbatore had controversially tested the English grammar skills of Class X students in half-yearly and revision examinations by discreetly using DMK president M Karunanidhi and his family members as central characters.

    The English-I half-yearly examination conducted last September had this statement in a punctuation exercise: “Maran said I have looted the nations wealth and so I can buy votes in the election.”

    Under the section where students had to choose the sentence which correctly conveys the meaning of the given sentence, the paper had this sentence: “Nobody can forget how he cheated the people of  Tamil Nadu for five decades.”

    Students were asked to convert into indirect speech a sentence which read: “He said to the Tamilians, ‘If you throw me into the sea, I will swim to the shore and continue cheating you’.”

    The reference obviously was to Karunanidhi’s  soft repeated statement in Kalaignar TV of him transforming into a raft on which people can continue their voyage, if he were to be dumped into the sea.

    The candidates also had to answer which of the options would best suit the sentence: “If he had taught his daughter the tactics of scientific corruption – (a) she would have got punished, (b) she would not have got punished, (c) she would have been punished.”

    There’s more. Taking a dig at Karunanidhi’s personal life, a section on rewriting a sentence from active to passive voice had this statement “You should have married three women and they should not have chosen the Cabinet Ministers” and “The politicians swindled the people’s money and God sent them to Tihar jail.”

    When contacted, Coimbatore Inspector of Matriculation Schools, S Gopi said, “The school seems to have procured the question papers from a private publication house in Tirunelveli.”

    Over 70 per cent of the schools procure question papers from the Government.

    However, this school did not do that.” The private school authorities were unavailable for comment.
     

     

     

    (contributed by: mohan rao on 08.02.2012)

  • Natural Health Tips

    Prevention Is Better Than Cure

    1.) Skin Diseases – Avoid very spicy food with empty stomach.   Do not take  almonds, Ginger tea, Coffee  with empty stomach.

    2.) Joints Pain – Sour food with empty stomach in morning may cause Joints pain. Garlic, Ginger can cause Ankles Pain. Avoid Garlic and Ginger with empty stomach, Eating refrigerated  food and loss of  sleep causes  Joints pain.

    3.) Ear diseases – First eat food than eat something sour.

    4.) Eyes diseases – It is  caused due to excessive consumption  of sour things. Avoid Amla ka Murabba,  Lemon. Apple Ka Murabba is good for Eyes diesease recovery.

    5.) Swelling in body – Any problem in Liver cause Swelling in legs / foot.

    Eat only fresh food. Avoid  eating  stale food & Dry fruits.

    6.) Dental Diseases – Pyrrhia, Swelling in gums and  other dental dieases are due to use of dry vegetables.

    To reduce dental diseases , use  more  Vegetables with gravy (tari).



    (Contributed by :- Dr. Rakesh Chand Garg, Homeopathic Doctor, KH-89, Kavi Nagar, Ghaziabad, Mo. 9211610408, Ph. 4101721)

  • Auto Play Animusic HD.

     

     

  • Marriage

    Marriage is good, otherwise we may have nobody to quarrel with.

     

    ************

    Permanent waves are increasing, but permanent wives are decreasing.

     

    ^^^^^^^^^

     




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