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- A Chinese man decides to retire and move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai.
He bought a small piece of land . A few days after moving in, the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the China man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens.
Not wanting to interrupt these ‘Chinese customs’, he decides to put the
welcome on hold for the day.
The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the China man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another ‘Chinese custom’, he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.
A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the China man leading a bull down the drive way, …pause…., and then put his left ear next to the bull’s butt.
The Aussie bloke can’t handle this, so he goes up to the China man and says, ‘Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood, and see you running around the yard after hens.The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull’s butt, it could just about shit on you.
The China man is very taken back and says, ‘Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs.
‘What do you mean mate’ says the Aussie, ‘Those aren’t Australian customs.
Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me’ replied the Chinaman, ‘He say to become true Australian, I must learn to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bull-shit.(contributed by: user Mohan Rao on 16.6.2011)
A Chinese man decides to retire and move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He bought a small piece of land . A few days after moving in, the ...
Magaliesburg, South Africa
Magaliesburg, South Africa
Magaliesburg, South Africa
[Contributed by: User – Chetan Bhatt on 03/03/2013]Voortrekker Monument Johannesburg Johannesburg city Magaliesburg, South Africa Magaliesburg, South Africa Magaliesburg, South Africa
- Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, ‘THAT’S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job. So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They e-mailed with attachments..
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports .
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. ( I suspect God choose Mumbai as the location for this test.)
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally, the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
‘It is gone! It is all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate.
‘Wait!’ he screamed. That is not fair!
He has cheated! How come he has all his work and I don’t have any?
God just shrugged and said, “JESUS SAVES “
(contributed by : A Mohan Rao on 11.04.2011)
Are you truly happy? Do you even know what it means to be happy and what it takes to achieve happiness? These are important questions for anyone who is seeking happiness to ask themselves. I live my life to maintain my own happiness while trying my best to not cause unhappiness to anyone else. If you want to be happy you need to understand that you can be happy and that you should be happy. Many people make the mistake of believing that they don’t deserve happiness and accept their unhappy state as their destiny. The truth of the matter is that happiness, like anything else in life, needs to be nurtured. The following are a few tips that I follow to create happiness in my life.
- Understand what it is that will make you happy. Everyone has unique requirements for attaining happiness and what makes one person happy may be very different from what makes someone else happy. Revel in your individuality and do not worry about whether or not your desires are comparable to those of your peers.
- Make a plan for attaining goals that you believe will make you happy. Your mood will very likely increase as your pursue your goal because you will feel better about yourself for going after something you value.
- Surround yourself with happy people. It is easy to begin to think negatively when you are surrounded by people who think that way. Conversely, if you are around people who are happy their emotional state will be infectious.
- When something goes wrong try to figure out a solution instead of wallowing in self pity. Truly happy people don’t allow set backs to affect their mood because they know that with a little thought they can turn the circumstances back to their favor.
- Spend a few minutes each day thinking about the things that make you happy. These few minutes will give you the opportunity to focus on the positive things in your life and will lead you to continued happiness.
- It’s also important to take some time each day to do something nice for yourself. Whether you treat yourself to lunch, take a long, relaxing bath or simply spend a few extra minutes on your appearance you will be subconsciously putting yourself in a better mood.
- Finding the humor in situations can also lead to happiness. While there are times that require you to be serious, when it is appropriate, find a way to make light of a situation that would otherwise make you unhappy.
- Maintaining your health is another way to achieve happiness. Being overweight or not eating nutritious foods can have a negative effect on your mood. Additionally, exercise has been known to release endorphins that give you a feeling of happiness.
- Finally, it is important to understand that you deserve happiness. Those who believe that they are not worthy of happiness may subconsciously sabotage their efforts to achieve happiness. If necessary, tell yourself each day that you deserve to be happy and remind yourself what steps you will take to achieve the happiness you desire.
Happiness is hard to define but most people are aware of whether they are happy or not. Many people believe that happiness is a form of luck and that some people are destined to be happy while others are destined to be unhappy. I try to incorporate the tips above into my life and have had great success in achieving happiness. The tips in this article are small but meaningful steps that you can take each day to lead you to true happiness.
(source:http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/9-tips-in-life-that-lead-to-happiness.html)Are you truly happy? Do you even know what it means to be happy and what it takes to achieve happiness? These are important questions for anyone who is seeking happiness to ask themselves. I live my life to maintain my own happiness while trying my best to not cause unhappiness to anyone else. If ...