Enjoy light reading

 

 

  • Jai Mata Vaishnodevi

    PAUDI PAUDI CHADDA JA, JAI MATA DI KARDA JA

    Jai Mata Di

    Jai Mata Di

     

    As the legend goes, more than 700 years ago Vaishno Devi a devotee of Lord Vishnu, used to pray to Lord Rama and had taken vow of celibacy. Bhairon Nath, a tantric (demon-God) tried to behold Her. Making use of his tantric powers, Bhairon Nath was able to see Her going towards the Trikuta mountains and gave chase. The Goddess felt thirsty at Banganga and shot an arrow into the earth from where water gushed out. Charan Paduka, marked by the imprints of Her feet, is the place where she rested. The Goddess then meditated in the cave at Adhkawari. It took Bhairon Nath nine months to locate Her, the reason why the cave is known as Garbh Joon. Mata Vaishno Devi blasted an opening at the other end of the cave with Her Trident when the demon-God located Her.

     

    Mata Vaishno Devi


    (continued at : http://www.matavaishnodevi.com/legend1.htm )

  • Laugh it off the Bongla Way

    A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average Kolkakatan goes and spends a day hard at work. And if he works for the ‘Vest Bengal Gawrment’
    he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke the 7th unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for 5th cup of tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It’s a hard life!

    B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don’t have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time….Bhishon Bhalo and Bibhotso…. though means opposite …used for same situations.. depending on the Beauty of fairer
    sex…are close …almost in a tie for second spot….

    C is for Chappell. Currently, this is the Bengali word for the Devil,for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, ‘Na ghumoley ebar Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.’

    D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debopriyo,
    Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at times….as creations of God himself !!

    E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year. ‘Ei Morechhey’ is a close second to Eeesh.

    F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not, he will say ‘eeesh what feeesh
    is theesh!’

    G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali girl will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, et cetera.

    H is for Harmonium. This Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!

    I is for Ileesh. This is a feeesh with 10,987 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

    J is for Jhola. No selfrespecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are two million jholas bobbling around Kolkata, and
    they all look exactly the same! Note that ‘Jhol’with mysterious condiments.. . as in Maachher Jhol is a close second. Jhaamela and Jachhetai are distant 3rd and 4th

    K is for Kee Kaando! It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai.Kee mushkil is a close second.

    L is for Lungi, the dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt Everest.

    M is for Minibaas. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers.

    N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!

    O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!).

    P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the

    Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are MOHUNBAGAN and
    East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.

    Q is for Koshchen (question) as in “Mamatadi koshchens Cheap Ministaar in Writaars Buiding.”

    R is for Robi Thakur. Many many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the great poet and walk with their head held
    high. This also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course ‘all non-Bengawlees’! Note that ‘Rawshogolla’ comes a close second!

    S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer, that too a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years old.

    T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it’s faster to walk….Trams are still existing in Paris too…….you see !

    U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.

    V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and scream and curse and abuse, “Chherey De Bolchhi” but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1939.

    W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is underwater and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!

    X is for X’mas. It’s very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit

    up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.

    Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali (see R for Robi Thakur)?. It is also for Jubraj Shingh and Joga.

    Z is for Jebra, Joo, and Jipper.

     

     

     

    (contributed by : Amr on 08.10.2012)

  • Husband & Wife

    (coversation between a husband & a wife)

    Husband      :  Aaj khane mein kya banaogi?
    Wife              :  Jo aap kaho.
    Husband      :  Dal chawal bana lo.
    Wife              :  Abhi kal hi to khaye the.
    Husband      :  To sabji roti bana lo.
    Wife              :  Bacche nahi khayenge
    Husband      :  To channe puri bana lo.
    Wife              :  Mujhe heavy heavy lagta hai.
    Husband      :  Eggs bhurji bana lo.
    Wife              :  Aaj guruvaar hai.
    Husband      :  Paraanthe ?
    Wife              :  Raat ko paraanthe kaun khata hai??
    Husband      :  Hotel se mangwa lete hain?
    Wife              :  Roz roz hotel ka khana nahi chahiye.
    Husband      :  Kadhi chawal?
    Wife              :  Dahi nahi hai.
    Husband      :  Idly sambar?
    Wife              :  Usme time lagega.pehle bolna chahiye tha na!!
    Husband      :  Maggi hi bana lo, usme time nahi lagega.
    Wife              :  Woh koi meal thodi hai? Pet nahi bharta.
    Husband      :  Phir ab kya banaogi?
    Wife              :  Jo aap kaho

  • Cat and Owl Friendship.

     

     Cat and Owl Friendship

    ” Video – Cat and Owl  Friendship “

    (contributed by: Mohan Rao on 15.09.2011)

     

  • Job Hunting

    A bloke goes into the Job Centre in London and sees something that really tweaks his interest.

    So he takes the number of the advertising card and asks the girl behind the desk,
    “Can you give me some more details about this?”

    The Job Centre Assistant sorts through her files and replies, “Oh, yes, here it is – Gynaecologist’s Assistant.
    OK, the job entails you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist.”

    “You have to help the ladies out of their clothes and underwear, lie them down and gently wash their nether regions.
    Then apply shaving foam and shave off all their public hair, then rub in soothing oils so they’re ready for the gynaecologist’s examination.”
    “There’s a starting annual salary of £85,000, but you’re going to have to go to Glasgow.”
    “Oh, why?  Is that where the job is?” he asks.
    “No,” replied the assistant, “that’s where the end of the queue is”.

     

     

     

    (contributed by: Mohan Rao on 19.11.2011)

  • Indian Habits

    All Indians have  typical eating habits.

    A few habits are:

    • Always order soup 1 by 2 (invented in India). That way you get more soup.
    • When ordering sugar cane juice, first insist on no Ice & after a few sips, ask for ice.
    • Ask for extra papri / golgappa after you finish your Bhel or Sev or Pani – Puri.
    • Ask for free cucumber / aloo /  freebees after you have eaten sandwich.
    • Sample all the ice cream flavours free & then order what you always eat.
    • Taste Free samples of many sweets at a Sweet Shop

    Lageh Raho, Munna Bai.

     

    Some habits which have stopped now due to circumstances

    • Ask for free Salad – Onions / Green mirch / Lemon / Carrot / Radish
    • Ask for free vegetable Gravy.
    • Ask for free Dal for Roti at a Dhaba
    • Ask for free Butter Chicken Gravy.
    • Ask for free Toffee from a General Merchant shopkeeper.
    • Ask Photographers to take their Snap at a party.
    • Ask for Free lift in Car.

     

     

    ( Contributed by : kapil Bamba on 01.03.2017 )

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    Good narration of facts and observations.

    When in the USA / Dubai, we have observed that ALL our visitors from India have tried to behave like Americans do (no spitting or throwing anything on the roads etc). However, they are back to the “old” normal habits, soon after landing in India. Obviously, training was not helpful.

     

     

    (contibuted by : Govind Kamath on 13.07.2011)

     

  • Today thoughts

    1. Life Would be perfect if: Anger had a Mute Button,  Mistake had a back button,
    Hard times had a fast forward button & Good times had  a Pause Button.

    2. A bird asked a Bee,
     ‘You work so hard to make honey and people steal, don’t you feel bad?
    Bee said, ‘I don’t feel bad as they can never steal my art of making honey’.
     
    3. What lies behind us and what lies before us are:
    Tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
     
    4. Tongue weighs practically nothing, But Only few people can hold it.
     
    5. The happiness of our life depends upon the quality of our thoughts.
        But Quality of our thought depends on the people we have in our life.
     
    6. We get lot of unconditional love when we are born
        & lots of unconditional respect when we die.
        We just have to manage the time in between.

    (contributed by: bhupendra jesrani on 03.12.2012)




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