Let us Start
WOMAN’S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
“Cash, check or charge?” The salesman asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet the salesman noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” . The salesman asked.
“No,” she replied, ” but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”
I know I’m not going to understand women.
I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor.
“It is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes.”
He addressed the man, “Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?”
Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wonders up and down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, “Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, ” You see, it’s like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; because it’s sooo-ooo–oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure out, if I have to roll my cigrattes own so does she has to.
WIFE vs HUSBAND
couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”
W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day, 30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”
A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says……….”HEBREWS”
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me at 5:00 AM .” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.”
(contributed by : user mdivakaruni on 18.01.2011)WOMAN’S PERFECT BREAKFAST She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. WOMEN’S REVENGE “Cash, check or ...
19th century European scholars and so many Indian scholars(?) maintain that the events described in Mahabharat are imaginary. Their theory has been that Ramayan, Mahabharat, Vedas, Upanishads and the Puranas were written about 200 years before Buddha, somewhere around 700BC.
Here are some reasons to believe that this is actually a history:
- The country is named Bhaarat after the king Bharat (son of Dushyant & Shakuntala). What country would be named after the hero of a novel!
- There are too many changes in the Sanskrit language of these texts to occur in 200 years.
- European scholars brought the nomadic Aryan tribes, into India after 1500 BC. How could these Aryans create Sanskrit language, gain so much knowledge and write all these texts before 700 BC?
- Great Indian thinkers including Lokmanya Tilak, Sri Arbindo, and Dyanand Sarasvati rejected the European theory.
- It is absurd to say that these texts are fiction, because of its poetic nature. It was a custom to write everything (even Mathematical formulae) in poetic form.
- The time and place of events have been accurately recorded. All such recordings are redudant for a Maha-kavya.
- The details of the weapons, and wars are given to a minute detail, which is very boring for a “story”.
- The texts record some common dynasties, incedents, people and events. No two novels would have the same incedents, same people or same dynasties unless they are recording history.
- It is written in the texts from time to time that it is a “History”.
- A number of dynasties with their long lineage of kings (more than 50 from Manu) have been presented in the work. If it were just fiction, 4-5 kings would have sufficed to build the story on.
- Maurya, Gupta and Indo-Greek dynasties, are also recorded in our Puraanas. These dynasties are accepted only because, they are also recorded by Greek historians. What about the dynasties that existed before the Greek historians?
Timeline for Mahabharat:
At this point we can say that Mahabharat war occured latest in 3102 BC and earliest in 5561 BC. Considering this baseline for Mahabharat we calculate back in time …
- A tablet found in the Mohenjodaro sites(Not only statue of Krishna, but also of Shiva and Durga were found. This means that the people in the Sarasvati-Sindhu valley considered Krishna & Shiva as their gods. Also the “Arya” Krishna existed before “Aryan Invasion” destroyed the Saraswati valley! Knock! Knock! Anything wrong in the Aryant Invasion Theory?), dated 2600BC, depicts Lord Krishna.
- An Egyptian Pyramid, dated 3000 BC, has a verse from the Bhagavad Geeta.
- From Vishnu Puraan it is known that the Kali Age started on February 20, 3102 BC. Mahabharat occured, before the end of Dwapar, hence 3102 BC seems to be the lower limit for Mahabharat.
- Using the position of planets(During early times, it was not customary to keep a count of years. Panchang & Shaka came into being sometime in the last 5,000 years. Thus, the early Hindus gave the positions of Vernal equinox, Saptarshi & the planets to define exact time. This evidence from Ramayan and Mahabharat has been used to calculate the times for the events.) mentioned in Mahabharat, dates have been calculated for the great war. The great Aryabhatta calculated 3100 BC. Dr. Patnaik calculated October 16, 3138 BC. Dr. P.V. Vartak proves this date to be October 16, 5561 B.C.
Between Rama and Krishna there were about 60 kings. Say, each king ruled for about 35 years. (The history of India from 300 BC to 1700 AD, shows each king ruled for 40-45 years). So even after assuming a lower range of 35 years, one can say that Rama existed atleast 2000 years before Krishna. So Rama existed latest in 5100 BC and earliest in 7500 BC. (Dr. P. V. Vartak has calculated the birth date of Rama as 4th Dec 7323 BC.)
Dushyant’s contemporary Anaranya was Rama’s 40th ancestor. Thus Dushyant, must have existed @1200 years before Rama. That gives the time frame of 6300 BC – 8800 BC for Dushyant and his contemporaries: Parshuram, Vishwamitra, Vasishta and Bharat.
Anaranya, was the 62nd decendant of Manu. Thus Manu existed atleast 2000 years before Dushyant. So, Manu must have existed sometime between 8300 BC and 10,800 BC.