Let us Start
I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in. She said: Cheque books. The easiest way to make your old car run better is to check the price of a new car. What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A : A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal. Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
Q: Why don’t dogs marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
A country where the people are thin Police is fat. India is an incredible country where actors are playing cricket, cricketers are playing politics, politicians are watching porn and porn stars are becoming actors. Kos kos pe badle paani, char kos pe (badle) bani. (The taste/quality of water changes at every mile language every 4 miles). The great success story of India, a country that so many learned scholars and journalists assumed would disintegrate, in the ’50s and ’60s, is that it managed to maintain consensus on how to survive without consensus. If someone asks for a dirty cloth to clean something, you are in India. The funny thing is that in a land of more than a billion people, the topic of sex is still taboo. Where liking a Facebook post gets you arrested, raping doesn’t. India is a functioning anarchy. In Bangalore if you throw a stone, you hit a dog, or a software engineer. Only country where you need to look either side while crossing in a one-way.
Santa has changed all his passwords to “incorrect”.
Now when ever he forgets his password, computer reminds, “your password is incorrect”
Santa bhi dimag rakhta hai!
(contributed by : user Kapil Bamba on 03.05.2011)Santa has changed all his passwords to “incorrect”. Now when ever he forgets his password, computer reminds, “your password is incorrect” Santa bhi dimag rakhta hai! (contributed by : user Kapil Bamba on 03.05.2011)
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Fellow 1 : “Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that, too.”
Fellow 2 : “Wow, that’s Incredible. How did he know all of that?”
Fellow 1 : “A judge told him.”
At 82 years old, my husband applied for his first passport.
He was told he’d need a birth certificate, but his birth had never been officially registered.
When he explained his dilemma to the passport agent, the response was less than helpful.
“In lieu of a birth certificate,” the agent said, “you can bring a notarized affidavit from the doctor who delivered you.”
My nieces Jessica, age five, and Stephanie, age three, were chatting with their mom when Stephanie asked, “Mommy, does God really make rainbows?”
“Of course he does,” my sister replied. Jessica nudged Stephanie and explained,
“Only God has such big crayons.”
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid – the parrot was his at last!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can’t talk!”
“Don’t worry.” said the Auctioneer, “He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?”
A elderly gentleman was strolling through a quiet residential
neighborhood when he came upon a little boy sitting on the curb,
crying. “What’s the trouble, son?” he asked. “Are you lost?”
“Worse than that,” the youngster sobbed. “Mom lost her book on child
rearing and now she’s using her own judgment!”
THE NUNS at a small suburban convent were happy to learn that an anonymous donor had left each of them $50 in cash to give away as she saw fit. Each nun announced how she would share her bequest.
Sister Catherine Ann decided to give her share to the first poor person she saw. As she said this, she looked out the window and saw a man leaning against the telephone pole across the street. He certainly looked poor.
She immediately left the convent and walked toward the man, feeling sure that he had been sent by Heaven to receive her charity. Pressing the $50 into the man’s hands, the kind sister said, “Godspeed, my good man.”
As she left, the man called out to her, “What is your name?” Shyly, she replied, “Sister Catherine Ann.”
The following evening, the man returned to the convent and rang the bell. “I’d like to see Sister Catherine Ann,” he said.
The nun at the door answered, “I’m sorry, but she’s in the chapel. May I give her a message?””Yes,” said the man gleefully.”
“Give her this $100 and tell her that Godspeed came in second at the horse race!”
(contributed by: Mohan Rao on 02.11.2011)Fellow 1 : “Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that, too.” Fellow 2 : “Wow, that’s Incredible. How did he know ...
With a minimalist design and curves in all the right places, the Zikmu Parrot speakers are testament to tech’s growing portfolio of designer gadgets. Available in several colours, including black, yellow and red, not only do they look great but with 360-degree sound and wi-fi capability, these 30-inch high speakers leave no room for compromise.
The latest offering from a fashion and tech tie-up comes in the form of the Pierre Cardin tablet, which has been given the seal of approval from one of France’s most prestigious labels. It’s also one of the cheaper tablets on the market and it’s easy to see why. It’s bulky, heavy and has a modest seven-inch screen, but with an integrated leather case sporting Pierre Cardin’s iconic P emblem, it’s design over functionality on this occasion.
Give those noisy blade-reliant fans the cold shoulder and inject some class and sophistication into your home with Dyson’s bladeless fan. Complete with remote control and 90-degree oscillation, it stands tall and proud at close to 40-inches high and its sleek silver chassis is a classy affair. It won’t be kind to your wallet, but it will help keep you cool while looking cool – that, dear readers, is worth the extra bucks.
We all love ourselves a bit of headphone action, and these Edition 8 headphones by Ultrasone are enough to send us into a tech-induced frenzy. Every inch of these chrome ear cans scream luxury – the crystal-clear sound quality, the comfy leather-laden ear pads and even the ridiculously luxurious leather case they come in. But hurry: with only 888 available worldwide, they won’t be around forever.
With its unique flame-like shape, Monitor Audio’s i-deck iPod dock wasn’t designed to be part of the furniture, but rather, the focal point of the room. Lined with a gorgeous and sturdy stainless steel frame, with an equally sturdy and curvaceous remote to boot, it’s an essential living room fixture. The sound quality is top notch too.
At close to £900 for the basic model, getting your hands on Apple’s latest MacBook Air laptop is a bank-breaking affair – however, it has won critical acclaim from fashion-conscious technophiles worldwide thanks to its curvy and wafer-thin design. Not only does it look great, but with the new Thunderbolt port and Apple’s latest MAC OS X Lion operating system, it’s ridiculously powerful too.
As iPod speakers go, the Sonoro cuboDock is by far the most stylish. Young and fun, and available in a number of vibrant colours including lime green, this docking speaker will pump out your favourite tracks while looking effortlessly cool at the same time. In terms of the features it has to offer, the cuboDock charges your iPhone or iPod device, comes complete with a remote control and includes Bluetooth for wireless connection.
Samsung’s latest smartphone, the Samsung Galaxy S II, is now available in a stylish white guise. This ultra thin (8.49mm) and lightweight (116g) handset has, despite being released only a few months ago, enjoyed unparalleled success – to date, it has sold over 10 million devices worldwide. Its sleek and sexy shell aside, it’s the gorgeous 800×480 Super AMOLED screen that makes it. Sporting the latest Android 2.3.3 Gingerbread OS, its 4.5-inch screen is dagger sharp and super responsive.
As yet another wave of tablet computers get set to unleash an assault on the competitive tablet market, Sony has geared up for an ugly battle with its Sony Tablet S. With its curvy upper back and wafer-thin bottom, typing on this Android-touting tablet is a joy and the slick glossy cover is the perfect finishing touch. With both 16GB and 32GB models available, you can choose which best suits and boost storage via SD card.
The game we all enjoyed as teenagers at the local funfair has been given a stylish makeover (and gained some extra cash, too). This air hockey table by Vortex, which boasts a matt black finish and chrome-effect corners and piping, is by far one of the sexiest takes on the putt-beating game we’ve ever seen. It also includes a powerful electric motor for speedy and smooth puck action and six pucks and four strikers, giving you the option of multiplayer game plays.
Video may have killed the radio star, but the radio itself is still very much alive and has been given a fabulous makeover. This offering from Pure, which comes complete with alarm radio, a kitchen timer and light sensor to adjust the display screen for easier viewing, boasts a colourful exterior and stylish handle that helps to show off its portability.
Let’s forget the fact this Samsung TV displays amazing 3D images and houses a raft of apps including Skype, Facebook and Twitter. Let’s also forget that it’s wi-fi enabled and 5mm thick, and just sit back and fully appreciate its slick and overtly gorgeous 55-inch screen that oozes class and sophistication. Anyone that can afford its heavy price tag is one lucky person indeed.
If ever there was a worthy challenger to Apple’s MacBook Air laptop, the ASUS UX21 is it. Sporting a 1.5GHz Intel Core i7 processor and up to 6GB of RAM, you could hardly tell it’s so powerful thanks to its barely-there wafer-thin chassis. Despite measuring in at a minuscule 3mm at its thinnest end, it’s also quite sturdy and covered in shiny aluminium. The ASUS UX21 will be available to buy later on in the year.
The Rocket Espresso Milano doesn’t just make coffee, it makes a statement. Its shiny stainless steel exterior and gorgeous raft of nooks and nozzles spruce up any kitchen instantly. In addition to a stainless-steel wand and cool-touch technology, which ensures only the nozzle gets hot, there’s a nickel-plated copper boiler with brass end plates and a commercial brewing head to help speed things up.
We all couldn’t help but coo over the original iPad when it was released back in 2010, but it wasn’t until Apple launched its follow-up, the iPad 2, that tablets became the ultimate accessory. With its super sexy and responsive 9.7-inch 1024×768 LED-backlit display and wafer-thin body, the second-generation tablet is far from just a wallflower. In fact, close to 1 million iPad 2s were sold in its opening weekend, making it one of Apple’s most successful (and sexiest) creations.
This solar-powered, radio-controlled wristwatch by Casio has all the features you’d expect in a high-tech device: a daily alarm function, an eye-catching dial in 3D design, an integrated stopwatch and rechargeable battery, all encased in a classic stainless steel shell. With a busy watch face, smooth metallic surface and hefty price tag to boot, the Casio Edifice EQW is a sophisticated and classy affair.
Unlike some of the gadgets on our list, the Fujifilm X100 is as sexy on the inside as it is on the surface. Boasting a barrier-breaking 12.3-megapixel snapper, a 23mm fixed focal length F/2 lens for ultimate zooming prowess and a hybrid viewfinder, it is ridiculously high-tech. And if that wasn’t enough, its impressive list of features are tucked neatly away into this gorgeous, retro-styled compactshell. We think we’re in love.
With its glossy black surface and yellow-tinted speakers, the HouseParty 5 iPod speaker dock is exactly what you need to get the party started. Putting aside the four dock adapters that make this device ideal for music delivery, with its retro-esque shell and curvy design, it’s an essential piece of kit for fashion-conscious ravers.
Whizz past the traffic in style with Go Cycle’s G2R electric bike, which will take you wherever you want to go without requiring you to pedal away at the pumps. Simply press the red button on the left-hand side of the handle bar, and you’re off. Better yet, this electric bike also sports a lightweight but solid stylish frame that is both easy on the eye and comfortable.
You could be the owner of this super stylish and ridiculously sexy private bar, designed by Porsche in conjunction with Johnnie Walker Blue Label whisky. The exterior has been treated to a brushed-titanium finish and high-quality leather panels, which line the inside walls. And as if that wasn’t enough, it closes to protect your booze and the bottom is refrigerated, so you don’t have to worry about drinking warm booze. Of course, the downside is that it isn’t available yet…
(source:http://news.in.msn.com/gallery/photoviewer.aspx?cp-documentid=5507339#image=1)With a minimalist design and curves in all the right places, the Zikmu Parrot speakers are testament to tech’s growing portfolio of designer gadgets. Available in several colours, including black, yellow and red, not only do they look great but with 360-degree sound and wi-fi capability, these 30-inch high speakers leave no room for compromise. The ...