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Deccan Chronicle CartOOns
(contributed by: Mohan Rao on 20.03.2012)Deccan Chronicle CartOOns (contributed by: Mohan Rao on 20.03.2012)
Mahavir Mandir, Patna, is one of the leading Hanuman temples in the country. Daily, thousands of devotees throng the temple and get solace from the worship of Hanumanji. It is a manokamana mandir, where devotees’ every wish is fulfilled, and this is the reason for the ever-increasing number of devotees in the temple. As per […]
Techie woman writes to the IT Technical support.
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 , and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0 , MONEY 3.0 and ESPN 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
Please advice what can I do?
The IT Help Desk Responds
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly (Beta version).
Whatever you do, DO NOT in any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!
(contributed by: user mohan on 13.05.2011)Techie woman writes to the IT Technical support. Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such ...
I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in. She said: Cheque books. The easiest way to make your old car run better is to check the price of a new car. What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A : A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal. Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
Q: Why don’t dogs marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
A country where the people are thin Police is fat. India is an incredible country where actors are playing cricket, cricketers are playing politics, politicians are watching porn and porn stars are becoming actors. Kos kos pe badle paani, char kos pe (badle) bani. (The taste/quality of water changes at every mile language every 4 miles). The great success story of India, a country that so many learned scholars and journalists assumed would disintegrate, in the ’50s and ’60s, is that it managed to maintain consensus on how to survive without consensus. If someone asks for a dirty cloth to clean something, you are in India. The funny thing is that in a land of more than a billion people, the topic of sex is still taboo. Where liking a Facebook post gets you arrested, raping doesn’t. India is a functioning anarchy. In Bangalore if you throw a stone, you hit a dog, or a software engineer. Only country where you need to look either side while crossing in a one-way.
Independence Day is a day when people in India pay homage to their leaders and those who fought for India’s freedom in the past. The period leading up to Independence Day is a time when major government buildings are illuminated with strings of lights and the tricolor flutters from homes and other buildings. Broadcast, print and online media may have special contests, programs, and articles to promote the day. Movies about India’s freedom fighters are also shown on television.
The president delivers the ‘”Address to the Nation” on the eve of Independence Day. India’s prime minister unfurls India’s flag and holds a speech at the Red Fort in Old Dehli. Flag hoisting ceremonies and cultural programs are held in the state capitals and often involve many schools and organizations.
Many people spend the day with family members or close friends. They may eat a picnic in a park or private garden, go to a film or eat lunch or dinner at home or in a restaurant. Other people go kite flying or sing or listen to patriotic songs.
Independence Day is a gazetted holiday in India on August 15 each year. National, state and local government offices, post offices and banks are closed on this day. Stores and other businesses and organizations may be closed or have reduced opening hours.
Public transport is usually unaffected as many locals travel for celebrations but there may be heavy traffic and increased security in areas where there are celebrations. Independence Day flag raising ceremonies may cause some disruption to traffic, particularly in Dehli and capital cities in India’s states.
The struggle for India’s Independence began in 1857 with the Sepoy Mutiny in Meerut. Later, in the 20th century, the Indian National Congress and other political organizations, under the leadership of Mahatma Gandhi, launched a countrywide independence movement. Colonial powers were transferred to India on August 15, 1947.
The Constituent Assembly, to who power was to be transferred, met to celebrate India’s independence at 11pm on August 14, 1947. India gained its liberty and became a free country at midnight between August 14 and August 15, 1947. It was then that the free India’s first prime minister Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru gave his famous “Tryst with Destiny” speech. People across India are reminded of the meaning of this event – that it marked the start of a new era of deliverance from the British colonialism that took place in India for more than 200 years.
The sport of kite flying symbolizes Independence Day. The skies are dotted with countless kites flown from rooftops and fields to symbolize India’s free spirit of India. Kites of various styles, sizes and shades, including the tricolor are available in the marketplaces. The Red Fort in Dehli is also an important Independence Day symbol in India as it is where Indian Prime Minister Jawahar Lal Nehru unveiled India’s flag on August 15, 1947.
India’s national flag is a horizontal tricolor of deep saffron (kesaria) at the top, white in the middle and dark green at the bottom in equal proportion. The ratio of the flag’s width to its length is two to three. A navy-blue wheel in the center of the white band represents the chakra. Its design is that of the wheel which appears on the abacus of the Sarnath Lion Capital of Ashoka. Its diameter approximates to the white band’s width and it has 24 spokes.Independence Day is a day when people in India pay homage to their leaders and those who fought for India’s freedom in the past. The period leading up to Independence Day is a time when major government buildings are illuminated with strings of lights and the tricolor flutters from homes and other buildings. Broadcast, print ...