Let us Start
: KULULA AIRLINES..
Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Check out their new livery!
And have a read about their Customer Relations.
WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN’T FLY INTERNATIONALLY – WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR – SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.
Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg .
Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced,
“People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”
On another flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said,
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”
On landing, the stewardess said,
“Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”
“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”
“Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:
“Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”
After a particularly rough landing during thunder storms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced,
“Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”
From a Kulula employee:
“Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”
“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”
“Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines.”
“Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”
“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses..”
And from the pilot during his welcome message:
“Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”
Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said,
“That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.”
Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,
“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”
Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying our airline”. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said,
“Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?”
“Why, no Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?”
The little old lady said,
“Did we land, or were we shot down?”
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with,
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal..”
Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement:
“We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of Kulula Airways.”
Heard on a Kulula flight:
“Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light ’em, you can smoke ’em.”
(source: user Mohan Rao on 19.03.2012): KULULA AIRLINES.. Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Check out their new livery! And have a read about their Customer Relations. WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN’T FLY INTERNATIONALLY – WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR – SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN. Kulula is an ...
BE CAREFUL WHILE TRAVELING OVERSEAS
An Indian was detained in Bangkok for stealing a box of cigarettes in a
duty-free shop in Bangkok International Airport . He had paid for chocolates
and a carton of cigarettes. The cashier put a packet of cigarettes extra
into his bag and he thought it was a free pack.
He was arrested for shop-lifting and the Thai Police extortion price was
30,000 Baht for his release. He spent two nights in jail and paid 500 Baht
for an air-conditioned cell, 200-300 baht for each visitor and 11,000 baht
for his fi nal release. The Police shared the money in front of his eyes. On
top of that, he was charged in court and fi ned 2,000 baht by the magistrate
and handcuffed and escorted to his plane. His passport was stamped “Thief”.
While there, his relatives requested help from the Indian Embassy and was
told that they are helpless, many Asians are victimized similarly daily and
letters and phone-calls to the Thai authorities are ignored.
He shared a cell with a Singaporean the fi rst night who paid 60,000 baht for
his release. The second night was a Malaysian national who paid 70,000 baht.
Mind you this was not in a shanty shop in downtown Bangkok but in a duty
free shop at the Bangkok Int’l Airport . BE WARNED.
The above is 100% correct information because Mr.Rajan Khera’s customer from
India faced exactly the same scenario mentioned above when he was in transit
at Bangkok Int’l Airport coming to Taipei .
Someone who went through the same ordeal in Dubai . He bought stuff at the
Duty Free upon entering. The girl at Duty Free put a bottle of cologne in
his shopping bag (he did not even see it happen). He was arrested for
stealing (this is before he even picked up his luggage). He sat at the
airport jail where he was harassed for the whole day. NO FOOD, NO WATER for
one day and only after he paid a fi ne (bribe of US 500…). That is all the
cash he had in his pocket at the time. They let him go. These are scams that
are happening all over the place. Please BE CAREFUL! All of this is
pre-planned and the people who work at the airport know who to target.
Unbelievable but apply caution…. the duty free employees intentionally put
extra items to scam the passengers.
ALWAYS TAKE A RECEIPT FOR ANY FREE GIFT THAT THE DUTY FREE SHOP GIVES.
PLEASE BE CAREFUL AND WATCHFUL WHEN YOU ARE BEING BILLED AND ITEMS PACKED IN
INTERNATIONAL AIR PORTS (DUTY FREE SHOPS).
(contributed by:SN on 23.07.2011)BE CAREFUL WHILE TRAVELING OVERSEAS An Indian was detained in Bangkok for stealing a box of cigarettes in a duty-free shop in Bangkok International Airport . He had paid for chocolates and a carton of cigarettes. The cashier put a packet of cigarettes extra into his bag and he thought it was a free pack. He was arrested for shop-lifting ...
Sharing one incident…
After Modi’s Trichy youth conference, the very next morning when police were clearing up their mini-control room, they found 5 strange boys who were roaming there with bags. When police enquired them “sir, we are from Subramaniapuram in Trichy. Whatever political meeting or conference is held in this ground, we come here on the same night or morning hours to collect the Liquor bottles to sell in the scrap shop for 50 paisa to 1 rupee per bottle and we used to earn Rs 200 to Rs 400 on each such event. Even in the last DMK meeting the very next day we collected around 1500 bottles. But for Modi’s BJP meeting, we could not find even a single bottle in the whole ground. We are coming around and around and not a single bottle in any corner of the G Corner ground in Trichy, we are much disappointed, sir!”.
Police seem were stunned and pleasantly surprised. This is what Modi magic does in this nation. Modi is the one who can lead our nation and make everyone prosper with hard work in right direction and proper approach. This funny but interesting anecdote was published by a statewide local daily Dinamalar. I have just translated and posting it here for rest of the nation; We should realise Modi is liked by every patriotic person in this nation especially by well educated, well mannered professionals and even normal public across the nation.
(user : vaidhy on 10.05.2013)Sharing one incident… After Modi’s Trichy youth conference, the very next morning when police were clearing up their mini-control room, they found 5 strange boys who were roaming there with bags. When police inquired them “sir, we are from Subramaniapuram in Trichy. Whatever political meeting or conference is held in this ground, we come ...
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!”
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,
“Boy that was one delicious panther! I wonder if there are any more around here?”
Continue reading → One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep doo-doo now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down ...