Enjoy light reading

 

 

  • Income Tax Hearing – Humour

     

    Income Tax Hearing

    A man who had been called to testify at the Income Tax Department, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.

    “Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper,” the accountant replied.

    Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice.

    “Don’t let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.”

    Confused, the man went to his priest, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution on the dilemma.

    “Let me tell you a story,” replied the priest. “A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night.

    ‘Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.’
    But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. ‘Wear your most revealing negligee, a nice V-neck.’ ”

    Confused, the man asked, “What does all this have to do with my problem with the Income Tax Department?”

    “Simple,” replied the Priest. “It doesn’t matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed anyway.”

     

    (contributed by : Amr on 28.09.2012)

     

     

  • Mani Mahesh Lake

    ‘Mani Mahesh’ is considered Lord Shiva-Parvati’s loving adobe. It is said that Lord Shiva gave wish to Lord Krishna that which ever Aughar will take bath in Manimahesh Lake on “Janmastmi”, do his all Siddhiyan will be fruitful, when Radha asked for blessings, Lord Shiva said that whosoever human being takes bath in Manimahesh Lake on “Radhastmi”, his all wishes will be achieved.

    Where is it & How to go:- Among the five abode of Shiva ‘Mani Mahesh’ is situated in Chamba District in Himachal Pradesh. Pathankot is very well connected by road & railway to the Country. From Pathankot to Chamba(135 km) , there is regular bus-service. Bharmaur is at a distance of 65 km away from Chamba. At a distance of 12 km from Bharmaur, Hadsar is situated, From where Mani Mahesh Yatra starts by foot. From Hadsar 7 km away Dhanchhou valley is the midpoint of the yatra. Here Bhasmasur got his wish of burning everything he touched by making Lord Shiva Happy, then reach Parvati Kund. Parvati Ma used to take bath here, Govt. has arranged many tents & blankets at Parvati Kund & Dhanchhou. Mani Mahesh Lake just 1km away from Parvati Kund.

    When to go:- From Janmastmi to Radhastmi every year thousands of people visit Mani Mahesh Lake. This is right time to visit Mani-Mahesh.

    Luggage:- Woollens, Sweater, Warm Jacket, Rain Coat, Gloves, Torch, Sports Shoes, Woolen Shocks, Woolen cap, Muffler, Goggles and Stick etc. are required.

    Important:- In front of Mani Mahesh Lake on Kailash Parvat Ganesh’s Nandi & other Shiv Parivar ices statue appear almost alive. None has been able to climb up on Kailash Parvat. Whose ever tried, never come back.

     

     

    (source:http://www.saarthisewasamiti.com/manimaheshlake.html)

  • Navratri

    History of Navaratri

    Navratri is a very important Hindu festival celebrated in India, which is devoted to Goddess Durga. The festival is celebrated with great reverence and faith across the country. It stretches over a period of nine days, with each of the nine days being dedicated to one of the nine forms of the Goddess. Talking about the history of Navratri festival, it can be explained through the stories mentioned in the Hindu scriptures. In case you want to know more about them, explore the information given below

    History & Origin Of Navratri

    In different parts of India, different legends describe the history of Navratri:

    North India
    The legend in North India goes that Mahishasura, the mighty demon, worshipped Lord Shiva and obtained the power of eternity. Soon, he started killing and harassing innocent people and set out to win all the three lokas. The gods in swargaloka appealed to Lord Shiva, to find a way to get rid of the demon. To protect the world from the atrocities of Mahishasura, the Trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva united their powers and created a divine female warrior, known as Goddess Durga. Mahishasura, when he saw the divine beauty of Goddess Durga, got mesmerized.

    So fascinated was Mahishasura by Goddess Durga’s beauty that he approached her with the intention of marriage. The goddess agreed to marry him, but put forth a condition – Mahishasura would have to win over her in a battle. Mahishasura, proud as he was, agreed immediately! The battle continued for 9 nights and at the end of the ninth night, Goddess Durga beheaded Mahishasura. The nine nights came to be known as Navratri, while the tenth day was called Vijayadashmi, the tenth day that brought the triumph of good over evil.

    Eastern Belief
    As per the legend prevalent in East India, Daksha, the king of the Himalayas, had a beautiful and virtuous daughter called Uma. She wished to marry Lord Shiva, since her childhood. In order to win over the Lord, she worshipped him and managed to please him as well. When Shiva finally came to marry her, the tiger-skin clad groom displeased Daksha and he broke off all the relationships with his daughter and son-in-law. One fine day, Daksha organized a yagna, but did not invite Lord Shiva for the same.

    Uma got so angry at her father’s rude behavior, towards her husband, that she decided to end her life by jumping into the agnikund of the yagna, where she was united with eternity (since then, she came to be known as Sati). However, she took re-birth and again won Shiva as her groom and peace was restored. It is believed that since then, Uma comes every year with Ganesh, Kartik, Saraswati and Laxmi and two of her best friends or ‘sakhis’, called Jaya and Bijaya, to visit her parent’s home during Navratri.

    Another Legend – Ram and Ravana
    Yet another legend of Navratri relates to the Hindu epic Ramayana. It goes that Lord Rama worshipped Goddess Durga in nine aspects, for nine days, in order to gather the strength and power to kill Ravana. He wanted to release Sita from the clutches of powerful demon king Ravana, who had abducted her. Those nine nights became to be known as Navratri and the tenth day, on which Lord Rama killed Ravana, came to be called Vijayadashmi or Dusshera, signifying Rama’s (good) triumph over Ravana (evil).

    How Navratri is Celebrated in Different Regions……

    The Navratri commences on the first day (pratipada) of the bright fortnight of the lunar month of Ashwin. The festival is celebrated for nine nights once every year during the beginning of October, although as the dates of the festival are determined according to the lunar calendar, the festival may be held for a day more or a day less.

    Navaratri is celebrated in different ways throughout India. In North India, all three Navratris are celebrated with much fervor by fasting on all nine days and worshipping the Mother Goddess in her different forms. The Chaitra Navratriculmintes in Ram Navami and the Sharad Navratri culminates in Durga Puja and Dussehra. The Dussehra of Kulu in Himachal Pradesh is particularly famous in the North.

    The last four days of Sharad Navratri take on a particularly dramatic form in the state of West Bengal in East India where they are celebrated as Durga Puja. This is the biggest festival of the year in this state. Exquisitely crafted and decorated life-size clay idols of the Goddess Durga depicting her slaying the demon Mahisasura are set up in temples and other places. These idols are then worshipped for five days and immersed in the river on the fifth day.

    In Western India, particularly in the state of Gujarat, Navratri is celebrated with the famous Garba dance. It is also popular throughout India and among Indian communities around the world including UK and USA.

    In south India, people set up steps and place idols on them.This is known as golu.
    Navratri is divided into sets of three days to adore three different aspects of the supreme goddess or goddesses.

    First three days
    The goddess is invoked as a spiritual force called Durga also known as kali in order to destroy all our impurities.

    Second three days
    The Mother is adored as a giver of spiritual wealth, Lakshmi, who is considered to have the power of bestowing on her devotees inexhaustible wealth, as she is the goddess of wealth.

    Final three days
    The final set of three days is spent in worshipping the goddess of wisdom, Sarasvati. In order to have all-round success in life, believers seek the blessings of all three aspects of the divine femininity, hence the nine nights of worship.

    In South India, Sarasvati pooja is performed on the 7th day. Eight day is traditionally Durgashtami which is big in Bengal. The 9th day is Ayudha Pooja when everyone gives their tools of the trade — pens, machinery, books, automobiles, school work, etc. a rest and ritually worships them. They start a fresh from the next day, the 10th day which is considered as ‘Vijaya Dashami’. Many teachers/Schools in south India start teaching Kindergarten children from that day onwards. Students also pay homage to their respective teachers as they are considered the third god (Maathaa, Pitha, Guru, Daivam – Mother, Father, Teacher & God). On this tenth day of Navratri in October – the holiday of Dussehra or Dasara, an effigy of Ravana is burnt to celebrate the victory of good (Rama) over evil.

    During Navratri, some devotees of Durga observe a fast and prayers are offered for the protection of health and prosperity. A period of introspection and purification, Navratri is traditionally an auspicious and religious time for starting new ventures.

    During this vowed religious observance, a pot is installed (ghatasthapana) at a sanctified place at home. A lamp is kept lit in the pot for nine days. The pot symbolizes the universe. The uninterrupted lit lamp is the medium through which we worship the effulgent Adishakti, i.e. Sree Durgadevi. During Navratri, the principle of Sree Durgadevi is more active in the atmosphere.

    Navratri is celebrated in a large number of Indian communities. The mother goddess is said to appear in 9 forms, and each one is worshipped for a day. These nine forms signify various traits that the goddess influences us with. The Devi Mahatmya and other texts invoking the Goddess who vanquished demons are cited.

    During the eight or ninth day, Kanya Poojan, where virgin girls who have not attained puberty are worshipped, occurs.

    (source: ITSUPERMARKET3)

  • 10 People Who Survived After Getting Executed.

     

    10 People Who Survived After Getting Executed”


    These people were sentenced to death and were almost on their way to heaven or hell but got lucky and managed to live another day.

    1. Elizabeth Proctor

    Elizabeth Proctor was thought to be a witch in 1692 and was arrested. Even though her friends protested, she was sentenced to death. Elizabeth was pregnant at the time and gave birth to her baby in prison. The rope was placed around her neck and she fell through the trapdoor but did not die!

    2. John Henry George Lee

    John Henry George Lee was arrested because it was felt that he was involved in the murder of a woman named Emma Keyse. He was about to be hanged when the release on the trap door malfunctioned and he fell through it thrice but did not die.

    3. William Duell

    William Duell along with 4 other men was hanged after spending time in jail for raping and murdering a child in London. At the time, dead bodies of criminals were used for medical purposes. When William’s body was laid in the Surgeons’ Hall, a student realized that he was breathing!

    4. Zoleykhah Kadkhoda

    Zoleykhah Kadkhoda was arrested because she was having an affair even though she was married. It was declared that she was to be killed and that people were to throw stones at her till she died. However, the stoning was abruptly stopped and the woman was taken to the morgue where the officials realized that she was breathing.

    5. Wenseslao Moguel

    Wenseslao Moguel was arrested after getting caught during the Mexican revolution. The officials were supposed to open fire at him and continue till he died. He was shot at 9 times but somehow managed to escape and live for a long time after.

    6. John Smith

    John Smith was arrested after robbing several houses and banks. He fell through the trap door but crawled out and managed to live a full life for several years.

    7. Anne Green

    Anne Green got pregnant after she was seduced by her employer. She gave birth to a premature baby who unfortunately, died within a few minutes after his birth. She tried to hide the body and was accused of murder. She was sentenced to death and was pushed off a ladder with a rope around her neck. However, when her coffin was opened up later, she started breathing and was sent to the hospital.

    8. Joseph Samuel

    Joseph Samuel committed several robberies in 1801 and murdered several people. He was part of a gang which was sentenced to death. On the day of the execution, he got onto the cart but the rope snapped. The second time the rope slipped off and the third time the rope snapped open yet again! He was then sentenced to life imprisonment.

    9. Maggie Dickson

    Maggie Dickson became involved with an Innkeeper after her husband died. She gave birth to a baby who died soon after. She tried to throw the body into the river but couldn’t. However, the authorities found the baby and Maggie. She was sentenced to death and after her execution, the coffin with her body was being carried over to the burial ground. This journey game to a halt when knocking was heard from within the coffin. She was taken out and lived for 40 more years!

    10. Willie Francis

    Willie Francis killed a drugstore owner when he was 16 years old. He confessed and was sentenced to death. As he sat on the electric chair and the electricity started coursing through his body, he started screaming but did not die. After several hours, they removed him from the chair and he was executed again a year later.

    (contributed by: Chetan Bhatt  on 23.12.2012)

     

  • God loves you.

     

     God loves you

    Me: God, can I ask You a question?

    God: Sure

    Me: Promise You won’t get mad

    God: I promise

    Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

    God: What do u mean?

    Me: Well, I woke up late

    God: Yes

    Me: My car took forever to start

    God: Okay

    Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

    God: Huummm

    Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

    God: All right

    Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax.

    BUT it wouldn’t work!!!  Nothing went right today!  Why did You do that?

    God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
    of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

    Me (humbled): OH

    GOD: I didn’t let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

    Me: (ashamed)

    God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn’t want you to catch what they have,

    I knew you couldn’t afford to miss work.

    Me (embarrassed):Okay

    God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness

    about what you said on that call.  I didn’t even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

    Me (softly): I see God

    God: Oh and that foot massager,  it had a fault  that was going to throw out all of the power

    in your house tonight. I didn’t think you wanted to be in the dark.

    Me: I’m Sorry, God

    God: Don’t be sorry, just learn to Trust Me…. in All things , the Good & the bad.

    Me: I will trust You.

    God: And don’t doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

    Me: I won’t God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

    God: You’re welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children..

     

     

     

    (contributed by: user Megha Bamba on 18.02.2012)

     

     

  • Russian or African

    The foreign minister of a small African state had opportunity to visit Russia for the very first time. There he was warmly welcomed by his Russian counterpart, who wined and dined him and generally offered him the best hospitality that Russia could offer.

    On his last day, the Russian foreign minister took the African foreign minister into a room with a table on which lay a revolver. “My comrade, since you are about to leave, I must introduce you to a custom we have here in Russia,   something called Russian roulette. It is a true test of manhood and worth, and how it works is that you must take the revolver, spin the cylinders, hold the revolver to your head and then pull the trigger. Only one of the six chambers is loaded.”
    The African leader, being of proud warrior stock and a courageous man, took the revolver, spun the cylinder, snapped it shut, pointed it at his head and sighed with relief when all he heard was ‘click’, but no shot.
     

    Well impressed with his bravery, he and the Russian drank vodka until the African leader had to be carried aboard his plane.

    Six months later the Russian foreign minister visits the African foreign minister’s country. The African, remembering keenly the Russian roulette he had to play previously, took the Russian into a room on the last day of his visit. In the room were six beautiful, naked young women.

    “To prove your courage and manhood, see before you six of the most beautiful women from each of our tribes. This is something I call ‘African roulette’. You may pick any one of them and they will give you a blow job.”

    The Russian, not too averse to this idea at all, asks the African, “But where is the risk? To be called roulette there must be some form of risk involved.”

    The African smiles broadly.

    ” One of the six is a cannibal”
    (cannibal means a man who eats human flesh)
    (contributed by: sn on 19.12.2012)

  • Rocks Around The World

    rocks29

    Wave Rock – Western Australia

    rocks20

    Port Campbell – Australia

    rocks21

    Prekestoien – Norway

    rocks22

    The Cheesewring – UK

    rocks23

    Spider Rock Chelly Canyon – Arizona, USA

    rocks24

    The Externsteine – Germany

    rocks25

    The Giant’s Causeway – Northern Ireland, UK

    rocks26

    The Wave – Arizona, USA

    rocks27

    Uluru, Ayers Rocks – Australia

    rocks28

    Wadi Rum – Jordania

    [Contributed by: Chetan Bhatt on 08/03/2013]




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