Let us Start
IDIOT SIGHTING:I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said “May I have large bills, please”
She looked at me and said “I’m sorry sir, all the bills are the same size.”
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her….
IDIOT SIGHTING When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘it’s open!’ His reply: ‘I know. I already got that side .‘
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, ‘NO, it’s not..’ Four is larger than two.’
We haven’t used Sears repair since.
My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said ‘We’re sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.’
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’
From Kingman , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
— From Kansas City
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’
To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing,’
our manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments .
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
How would you pronounce this child’s name?
Lee – A?? NOPE
Lay – a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City , Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It’s pronounced “Ledasha”.
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “the dash don’t be silent.”
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don’t be silent.
(source: user amohanrao on 14.1.2012)
Look at what happened from 1998 until 2008. In just ten years it has grown and grown.
Watch the pieces come together as they are sent up from Earth.
This is the International Space Station (ISS) Assembly diagram, piece by piece.
No idea the Space Station had grown to this size.
(contributed by A Mohan Rao on 08.03.2011)Look at what happened from 1998 until 2008. In just ten years it has grown and grown. Watch the pieces come together as they are sent up from Earth. This is the International Space Station (ISS) Assembly diagram, piece by piece. No idea the Space Station had grown to this size. Enjoy Video of Space ...
Banta was bragging to his boss one day,” You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.
” Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “. OK, Banta how about Tom Cruise?” . “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Banta and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, “Banta! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”
Although impressed, Banta’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Banta that he thinks Banta knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Banta says.
“President Bush,” his boss quickly retorts. “Yes,” Banta says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.” At the White House, Bush spots Banta on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Banta, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and have a cup of coffee first.” Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House, he expresses his doubts to Banta, who again implores him to name anyone else. “The Pope,” his boss replies. “Sure!” says Banta. “My folks are from Poland, and I have known the Pope a long time.” So they fly to Rome.
Banta and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Banta says, “This will never work. I cannot catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I will come out on the balcony with the Pope.” And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Banta emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Banta returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’s side, Banta asks him, “What happened?” His boss looks up and says,” I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who is that on the balcony with Banta?”
(contributed by : Megha Bamba on 24.02.2011)
Banta was bragging to his boss one day,” You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. ” Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “. OK, Banta how about Tom Cruise?” . “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” ...
There are quite a number of important festivals in Northern India. One of the significant festivals is Baisakhi or Vaisakhi. It is even more so important in the state of Punjab. One can witness vivid celebrations during the festival and can go back collecting the best memories of the joyous occasion. This festival is associated with the harvest of Rabi crop. Considered as very important in the rural India, this festival has one more significant factor attached to it. Yes, we are referring to the birth anniversary of Khalsa Panth (Sect). Held on the first day of the Vaisakh month, this festival heralds atmosphere of enjoyment, lots of jubilance and fun. Vaisakh Month is usually referred as month of April and May. This festival is important for both Sikh and Hindus but for the former one, it is even more special.
Karwa Chauth is a world renowned tradition, representing India as a country full of love and traditions. This event has not been just in vogue in current soaps, but has played a big part in almost any other movie made in Hindi cinema. This festival is observed by Hindu married women belonging mainly from Northern and Western India. Few states which extensively participate in the event are Delhi, Haryana, Gujarat and many more.
Every married Hindu woman is supposed to establish a fast on this very day from the break of dawn till they see the moon at night. Women pray for their husbands all day long apart from not eating and drinking. The biggest feature of the prayers is the asking God for long life and wellbeing of their husbands. This ritual has its basis on strengthening bonds between husbands and their wives. This also shows the importance of family and relationships in India. Indian culture mostly believes in monogamy, and that signifies the importance of a partner in a person’s life. The preparations begin with women getting dressed up for the day, and adorning themselves with henna and jewellery. The day progresses as they pray to Lord Shiva, Ganesha, Parvati and Kartikeya, as well the pot of clay called Karwa. In some traditions, women begin their fast by having their last meal sent by their mother-in-laws called Sargi.
Similarly, women receive Baya,a gift of clothes and sweets from the mother-in-law as well. The whole day is passed by listening to the legend of Karwa Chauth. Finally after seeing the moon through the sieve and worshipping it, women take their first sip of water and first bite of food, by their husband’s hands, after seeing them through the sieve. This is how the day of Karwa Chauth culminates as being one of the most important days in the relationship of a Hindu couple.
Every religion has its own significant celebrations. Most of these celebrations have certain anecdotes or historical reasons associated with them. Primarily rooted in the canals of history, such celebrations have been rejoiced since centuries. When we think of Christianity, we often remember Christmas as the basic celebration. But apart from Xmas, there is one very important festival, Good Friday that has its roots in the journey of Jesus Christ.
The birth occasion of Christ is celebrated with fanfare. It is vividly rejoiced by the devotees. But once this period of exultation is over, his followers pursue a time of fasting and penance. This period starts on Ash Wednesday and ends on Good Friday. Known as Lent, this period of fasting is celebrated more as following the example of Jesus Christ. It is believed that Jesus fasted for forty days in harsh dessert before he began his preaching. It was his way of overcoming evil power. By following the rituals of prayer and fasting, Jesus set the precedent of austerities.
Baisakhi There are quite a number of important festivals in Northern India. One of the significant festivals is Baisakhi or Vaisakhi. It is even more so important in the state of Punjab. One can witness vivid celebrations during the festival and can go back collecting the best memories of the joyous occasion. This festival is associated ...
Teachers are one of the most important people, after our families that influence our lives. From the moment we step into school, to the point when we quit education and become self sufficient, there is a teacher to guide us in everyday of our life. Teaching is not just restricted to academics. We do and we will always find teachers in every walk of life. A famous man said, that anyone who made me even learn a single word, it’s worth serving him for the rest of my life. From the time that we are vulnerable minds, teachers start guiding us and help us in moulding our personalities. As kids, we all have our teachers as ideals, the images that we wanted to be, the guidance and sensibility that we wanted to achieve. How many times we thought of thanking our teachers and could never get a chance to actually do it. Teacher’s day is all about that, and a lot more.
Buddhism was originated some 2500 years ago. It is widely accepted as one of the universal religion that is in existence in many countries. It has a strong presence in many Asian countries and now even western countries like USA and Australia are accepting this on a wide scale. Buddhism is not only a religion but also a philosophy. Based on the teachings of Siddhartha Gautama also known as the “Buddha”, Buddhism preaches peace and tolerance. The literal meaning of Buddha means ‘Enlightened one’. Going by the history books, Siddhartha Gautama was the prince of Lombini and in a moment of despair or enlightment he found himself totally non-aligned from worldly desires. He wanted to get rid of sorrows of human existence. At the young age of 29, he renounced all attachments to worldly pleasures and forayed into a voyage to seek answers for the misery of human condition. His next six years consisted of self-mortification and frequent fasting. He managed to achieve the supreme enlightment beneath the Bodhi tree while he was mediating. He died at the age of 80 in a small place called Kusinara. He spent his life in establishing Buddhist monastic order of monks.
Moharram is considered one of the most sacred months of Islamic calendar. It is the first month, so marks the start of every Islamic New Year. According to Hadith and Quran, Muslims are advised to respect the month and not commit any wrongdoing. The sigficance of this month further increased after Imam Hussein P.B.U.H was martyred on the 10th of Moharram. This day is called an Ashura. This completely changed the significance of Islamic history related to Moharram. After the death of the Prophet, Muslims were divided into two sects, one believed that Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H were the last messenger of God, and there were no successors as he never announced anyone to be his successor.
Simply amazing, what has technology become …
Faster than Google Earth. Try it.
Dont believe, just type in any address that you know and have been there before so you recognise the place, anywhere in the world.
Absolutely awesome for CROOKS !!!
This does work and is
Thought you might be interested in this. Much faster than Google Earth.Search Addresses All Over The World
“Now this might scare the heck out of you … it’s unbelievable technology. Is there nowhere to hide??
After opening the link below, type in the address you want slowly, letter by letter, space by space, and watch each time where it takes you.