Let us Start
Banta was bragging to his boss one day,” You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.
” Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “. OK, Banta how about Tom Cruise?” . “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Banta and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, “Banta! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”
Although impressed, Banta’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Banta that he thinks Banta knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Banta says.
“President Bush,” his boss quickly retorts. “Yes,” Banta says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.” At the White House, Bush spots Banta on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Banta, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and have a cup of coffee first.” Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House, he expresses his doubts to Banta, who again implores him to name anyone else. “The Pope,” his boss replies. “Sure!” says Banta. “My folks are from Poland, and I have known the Pope a long time.” So they fly to Rome.
Banta and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Banta says, “This will never work. I cannot catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I will come out on the balcony with the Pope.” And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Banta emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Banta returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’s side, Banta asks him, “What happened?” His boss looks up and says,” I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who is that on the balcony with Banta?”
(contributed by : Megha Bamba on 24.02.2011)
Banta was bragging to his boss one day,” You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. ” Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “. OK, Banta how about Tom Cruise?” . “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” ...
- Claiming the rewardPunjab government announced Rs.50,000/- to every family with 5 children in the household.
Sardar had 4 children so he tells his wife :-
Meri girlfriend se mera 1 bachcha hai, usey le aata hun. Total 5 ho jayenge aur Govt 50,000/- de degi humay!
Sardar bachcha leke ghar aaya aur us ne wife se puchha : Jitender aa gaya hai – Maninder, Surinder, Rajender aur Virender kahan hain?
Wife boli – Jis jis ke thae wo le gaye.
(contributed by : T R Raju on 14.06.2012)
Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
One day the King came upon a Servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy. The King asked the Servant, “Why are you so happy?”
The Servant replied, “Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don’t need too much – just a Roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies.” The King was not satisfied with that reply.
Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted Advisor. After hearing the King’s woes and the Servant’s story, the Advisor said, “Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club.”
“The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?” the King inquired. The Advisor replied, “Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is place 99 Gold Coins in a bag and leave it at this Servant’s doorstep.” When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy… so many Gold Coins!
He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 Coins. He wondered, “What could’ve happened to that last Gold Coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 Coins!” He looked everywhere he could, but that final Coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that Gold Coin and complete his collection.
From that day, the servant’s life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th Gold Coin. He stopped singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his Advisor’s help, the Advisor said, “Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club.”
“The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they’re always yearning and striving for that extra “1” telling to themselves: “Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life.”
We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we’re given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires.
That’s what joining the 99 Club is all about.”
Lets not be in 99 Club, but still keep progressing in our lives happily(contributed by : TR Raju on 20.09.2012)Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content. One day the King came upon a Servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much ...
- WHAT IS WEIGHT LOSS?
There are several options available to patients today who might be struggling with weight loss issues, and who are unable to shed unwanted pounds on their own through diet, exercise, and will power alone. Being overweight isn’t just a question of beauty society inflicts on us. Obesity is a medical condition which can have serious, even deadly, implications. Weight loss surgery is a solution for people who are endangering their lives. Overweight people are more likely to suffer from diseases such as heart disease and diabetes. Revolutionary surgical procedures can be life-changing, life-saving, and undoubtedly beneficial to those who need assistance with their weight loss goals. There are several types of bariatric surgery (weight loss surgery) available today. A bariatric surgeon operates on the digestive organs which results in either a malabsorption of nutrients or a redirection of nutrients leading to successful weight loss in most cases.
There are other procedures available to those who desire a more shapely silhouette, those who have suffered from bodily damage due to childbirth, or those who simply want to improve their well-being by changing the appearance of their physical body. This is done through surgical procedures such as abdominoplasty and liposuction. Procedures such as these actually reshape the body and remove fat from inside the body.
WHO PERFORMS THE PROCEDURE?
A bariatric surgeon is the most qualified physician to perform any surgical procedure dealing with weight loss. These doctors are specialized in this area. A patient should ask it their surgeon maintains membership in the American Society for Metabolic & Bariatric Surgery (ASMBS). An experienced, qualified physician can assist a patient in making the right choices when it comes to this type of surgery.
A board certified plastic surgeon is the best choice for abdominoplasty. This ensures that the surgeon has at least five years experience and has been educated at a reputable institute for plastic surgery. Although many dermatologists perform liposuction, a plastic surgeon is a better choice because they have had more extensive surgical training in this type of procedure.
Types of Bariatric Surgery:
– Adjustable Gastric Band Surgery is gaining popularity because it is adjustable, reversible, and requires only a short hospital stay. In this procedure an adjustable band is placed around the upper part of the stomach through very small laparoscopic incisions, thus creating a smaller area for food to go into which limits food intake. This procedure allows a patient to feel full with only a small amount of food. The band can be altered quite easily as the patient needs.
– Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass Surgery (RYGB) is a procedure where the stomach is divided into two potions. The upper, smaller portion of the stomach is directly connected to the small intestine so that food is redirected. This creates a lesser degree of absorption of what is eaten. The larger portion of the stomach maintains blood flow so that the gastric juices stimulate the stomach to eventually mix with the food of the small intestine, thereby creating weight loss.
– Sleeve Mastectomy (SG) is a procedure where the majority of the stomach is surgically removed. The remaining part of the stomach can only hold roughly three oz. which limits food intake. This is a simpler procedure than the Gastric Bypass because it does not involve surgical alteration of the intestines. However, for morbidly obese patients a second malabsorptive surgery may be necessary for optimal results.
Types of Cosmetic Weight Loss Procedures:
– Lipoplasty (Liposuction) is a surgical procedure that removes extra fat from the area between the muscle and skin. This is performed through the use of a small tube that is inserted directly into the fat through small incisions in the skin and then connected to a powerful suction pump. This procedures has dramatic results for improved body contour. This procedure is commonly performed on areas of the body where excess fat may be a problem.
Abdominoplasty (Tummy Tuck) is a procedure which removes excess skin and fat from the abdominal area. In most cases, the abdominoplasty will restore weakened or separated muscles and give the patient a smoother, firmer, more desirable abdomen. Abdominoplasty can also be used in conjunction with breast reconstruction as a method of treatment for women who have undergone a mastectomy due to breast cancer. In this procedure, skin is grafted from the abdominal area and used to reconstruct the nipples.
The side effects of bariatric surgery can be reduced by following the physician’s guidelines following surgery. Often patients will experience nausea and vomiting, dehydration, food intolerance, changed bowel habits, dumping syndrome (characterized by sweating, feelings of weakness and/or diarrhea), and cold intolerance. These side effects are usually alleviated after a period of 1-3 months as the patient becomes accustomed to new eating habits. In addition, hair thinning may occur and women may experience increased fertility as a result of weight loss. Patients may also experience excessive, sagging skin after weight loss that may require plastic surgery for optimal satisfaction. With all this said, bariatric patients outweigh these side effects as minimal when compared with the alternative of a life of obesity and disease.
The side effects of liposuction can be scarring, bruising and swelling following surgery. Some patients experience lumpiness following liposuction, which usually disappears several months prior to surgery as the body becomes accustomed to its new shape. Abdominoplasty carries certain side effects, most commonly swelling and pain at the site of the incision. Although patients will experience some discomfort post-operative, this is the body’s natural defense in the healing process. Most discomfort patients experience will not last for a period of more than six weeks. As with any surgical procedure, patients need to closely follow the recommendations of their doctor, make sure they have plenty of help at home (particularly lifting small children), and follow up with any post-operative appointments as recommended.
When it comes to weight loss there are two categories that need to be addressed: health and well-being. Being overweight or just not feeling good about physical appearance can cause problems in relationships and alter your self esteem. No one wants to suffer from these problems, and it is refreshing to know that help is readily available. Obesity is a medical condition that affects a person’s health and ability to lead a normal, healthy lifestyle. In a case like this, a patient needs to carefully consider with their doctor the many options available through weight loss surgery. Bariatric surgery is a revolutionary surgical procedure that has saved lives that seemed to be out of control, out of hope, and more importantly fighting the clock for survival.
If improvement in the existing shape of the body is desired through liposuction or a tummy tuck, a board-certified plastic surgeon can dramatically help both men and women to achieve a new, life-changing figure that can boost a patient’s self-image that may not be possible through diet and exercise alone. Whatever the weight loss goals are, finding the right doctor is imperative in any weight loss procedure. The results can and do change lives for the better…forever.
(source : http://www.matchadoctor.com/content/weight-loss)
‘Raining money’: Belgians urged to return stolen cashThe local prosecutor says it was “self service” as passers-by pocketed the scattered cash
Police are urging people from a small town in Belgium to return tens of thousands of euros in cash that were thrown out of a speeding car by thieves attempting to make a getaway.
The incident occurred in the Flemish town of Zedelgem after the thieves stole a safe from a nearby house.
The thieves threw the safe out of the car to distract police officers. It broke open and passers-by grabbed 50, 100 and 200-euro notes that were scattered.
The thieves are still on the run.
One man said he had picked up two rolls of 5,000 euros only to have a police officer grab them back, reports the BBC’s Matthew Price.
Another said it was as if it was “raining money”.
The local prosecutor says it was “self service” as passers-by filled their pockets with the scattered cash.
While some have returned the money, a considerable sum is yet to be recovered.
Anyone keeping the cash could face up to two years in jail, officials say.
(source:‘Raining money’: Belgians urged to return stolen cash The local prosecutor says it was “self service” as passers-by pocketed the scattered cash Continue reading the main story Related Stories Belgium country profile Police are urging people from a small town in Belgium to return tens of thousands of euros in cash that were thrown out of a speeding car by ...