Let us Start
Here are some of those text messages that have angered the Pakistani establishment:
1. Long lines
A man standing in a long line for food tells the others in the line that he is leaving the line to go to shoot the president. He returns after a few hours and rejoins the line.
Did you manage to kill him, everyone asks him.
No, that line is longer than this one, he replies.
2. Robber meets Zardari
Robber: Give me all your money
Zardari: Don’t you know who I am? I am Asif Ali Zardari.
Robber: OK. Give me all my money.
3. TV anchor announcing:
Terrorists have kidnapped our beloved Zardari and are demanding
$5,000,000 or they will burn him with petrol. Please donate what you can. I have donated five liters of petrol.
4. Postmaster General announcing
To commemorate the ascension to the Presidency, Pakistan Post has officially launched a new stamp. But the people of Pakistan are confused which side on the stamp to spit on.
5. Announcement in Zardari’s official airplane
Mr. President , We are about to land.
could you please put Sherry Rehman (former Information minister) in an upright position. Thank you.
6. Pakistani meets American
Pakistani to American: What do you guys do with thieves?
American: We treat them humanely and give them nice food, warm clothes and long jury trials
Pakistani: That’s nothing. We give them the presidency.
7. Genie meets a Pakistani
Genie to Pakistani: Order me my master. What can I do for you?
Pakistani to Genie: Bring me all the wealth in the Swiss bank.
Genie: My name is Genie, not Zardari.
(contributed by: Mohan Rao on 22.03.2012)Here are some of those text messages that have angered the Pakistani establishment: 1. Long lines A man standing in a long line for food tells the others in the line that he is leaving the line to go to shoot the president. He returns after a few hours and rejoins the line. Did you manage to kill ...
When Aishwarrya delivered a baby girl, The doctor welcomed the baby,
“You will be amazed to know which family you are born in.
Do you know who your Grandfather is?”
The baby replied, “Yes, the greatest actor of Bollywood.
“The Doctor was shocked.Then he asked,
“Do you know who your Mother is?”
The baby replied, “One of the most beautiful ladies in the world. Miss World.
“The doctor then asked, “Do you know who your Father is?
“The baby replied, “NO IDEA”
(contributed by: Mohan Rao on 10.12.2011)NICE REPLY When Aishwarrya delivered a baby girl, The doctor welcomed the baby, “You will be amazed to know which family you are born in. Do you know who your Grandfather is?” The baby replied, “Yes, the greatest actor of Bollywood. “The Doctor was shocked.Then he asked, “Do you know who your Mother is?” The baby replied, “One of the most beautiful ladies ...
The raccoon is a medium-sized mammal native to North America. It is usually nocturnaland omnivorous. Its diet consists of 40% invertebrates, 33% plant material and 27% vertebrates.
The weight of a fully grown raccoon varies with habitat. It ranges from 2 to 14 kg, but is usually between 3.5 and 9 kg. In general, maleraccoons are 15 to 20% heavier than female raccoons. The heaviest recorded wild raccoon weighed 28.4 kg.
As raccoons have short legs compared to their compact torso, they are generally unable to run quickly or jump great distances. Their highest speed over short distances is 16 to 24 km/h. Raccoons can swim with an average speed of about 5 km/h and can stay in water for several hours.
Raccoons eat active or large prey such as birds and mammals only occasionally, as they prefer prey such as fishes and amphibians which are easier to catch. They sample food and other objects with their front paws to examine them and to remove unwanted parts.
(more at : http://www.amazingfacts.in/2011/02/raccoon.html )The raccoon is a medium-sized mammal native to North America. It is usually nocturnaland omnivorous. Its diet consists of 40% invertebrates, 33% plant material and 27% vertebrates. The weight of a fully grown raccoon varies with habitat. It ranges from 2 to 14 kg, but is usually between 3.5 and 9 kg. In general, maleraccoons are 15 to ...
- Over a decade ago, there was one Ramar Pillai who pulled a similar fraud on the scientific community in Chennai, nay India and almost got away with it. What does this prove? Pakistan is over ten years behind India in scientific fraud and the tragedy is that the scientists in both countries were taken in by it. Either there is something fundamentally wrong with these scientists (one should check their credentials again) or these guys are so obsessed with announcing some scientific breakthrough even at the cost of their reputation but then this should stand a detailed scrutiny before these jokers approve the fraud. Just note that the founder of Pakistan Nuclear Bomb, AQ Khan, proudly proclaimed that he had checked it and satisfied himself that the claim was genuine. How did this self proclaimed nuclear scientist get his A-Bomb off the ground, one wonders.
The water car fraudPervez HoodbhoyAgha Waqar Ahmad deserves a medal from the people of Pakistan for his great service to the nation. In a few short days, he has exposed just how far Pakistan has fallen into the pit of ignorance and self-delusion. No practical joker could have demonstrated more dramatically the true nature of our country’s political leaders, popular TV anchors and famed scientists.At first, it sounded like a joke: a self-styled engineer, trained in Khairpur’s polytechnic institute, claims to have invented a ‘water kit’ enabling any car to run on water alone. It didn’t matter that the rest of world couldn’t extract energy from water; he had done it. He promised a new Pakistan with limitless energy, no need for petrol or gas, and no more load shedding. For an energy starved nation, it is a vision of paradise.Agha Waqar Ahmad is now a national celebrity thanks to Religious Affairs Minister Khursheed Shah. Federal ministers Mir Hazar Khan Bijarani and Qamar Zaman Kaira have added their commendations. President Asif Ali Zardari has expressed his delight. The cabinet has met three times to discuss the water vehicle, and a fourth meeting is scheduled. Reports suggest millions may be spent on the ‘water fuel kit project’.The media has rushed in to celebrate the new national hero. For TV anchor Talat Husain, thanks to Agha Waqar Ahmad’s invention, Pakistan’s image can go from a country ravaged by terrorism to one of boundless possibilities. Anchor Hamid Mir and Senator Parvaiz Rasheed drove around Islamabad sitting next to the inventor, wondering how to protect the man’s life from Western oil companies. Anchor Arshad Sharif was euphoric about the $14 billion Pakistan would save on oil imports.Pakistan’s most celebrated scientists were not far behind. Asked by Anchor Sharif whether a car could run only on water, nuclear hero Dr Samar Mubarakmand replied without hesitation: “jee haan, bilkul ho sakta hai” (yes, absolutely possible). For his part, Hamid Mir asked Dr AQ Khan if there was any chance of this being a fraud. The response was clear: “Main nay apnay level per investigate kiya hai aur koi fraud waraud nahi kiya hai” (I have investigated the matter and there is no fraud involved). The head of the Pakistan Council of Scientific and Industrial Research, Dr Shaukat Parvaiz, went further: “hum nay bhi iss pay kam karaya tha” (we had some work done on this too).So, what is the problem? It’s that the laws of physics, in particular a fundamental scientific principle known as the Second Law of Thermodynamics, impose inviolable constraints. Every machine constructed anywhere uses the Second Law. This is something that I learned in my first year as a student at MIT and have taught for 40 years. No serious scientist would dream of challenging the Second Law. Agha Waqar Ahmad’s ‘water kit’, if one believes science to be right, simply cannot work. What the inventor, the ministers, the anchors and scientists claim on TV is wrong.To his credit, the only person on TV that seemed to know this elementary principle was Dr Attaur Rahman, a chemist and a former HEC chairman. I have not agreed with all his actions and views in the past, but he alone rejected the claims about the new machine. Sadly, he was not able to hold back the tide of a nation desperate for any answer to its energy woes.The water fraud will be exposed soon enough and, like a bad posterior smell, will go away. A simple experiment will make this happen faster. Here’s how: take an emergency electricity generator, of which there are thousands in Islamabad. Its engine is similar to that in a car. Remove the fuel tank and make sure the ‘water kit’ contains only water. Then ask the inventor to connect it up and run the generator. Let there be enough sharp-eyed witnesses of intelligence and integrity.But this episode raises bigger questions. Scientific frauds exist in other countries, but what explains their spectacular success in Pakistan? Answer: our leaders are lost in the dark, fumbling desperately for a miracle; our media is chasing spectacle, not truth; and our great scientists care more about being important than about evidence. It is easy for them all to get away with this. As a nation, we have proven unwilling to do the hard work needed to learn to reason, to be skeptical, to demand proof, to understand even basic science. It is easier to believe the world is run by magic and conspiracies, to wish and wait for Aladin’s magic lamp. We live in the age of jahilliya.
(contributed by : SN on 04.08.2012Over a decade ago, there was one Ramar Pillai who pulled a similar fraud on the scientific community in Chennai, nay India and almost got away with it. What does this prove? Pakistan is over ten years behind India in scientific fraud and the tragedy is that the scientists in both countries were taken in ...
You are here: Home » City » George allows cops to do job, pays fine George allows cops to do job, pays fine Bangalore, Jagadish Angadi, Dec 12, 2013, dhns: Home Minister K J George has rewarded two traffic cops for a strange reason. The two men stopped the minister’s private car and made him pay fine for an …Read More(Visited 2 times, 1 visits today)